Carlos is just about to head off for a "golf" weekend with the "guys." Edie's "pouting" because she can't go. In case the scare quotes aren't making my meaning clear, translate "golf" to "sex," "guys" to "Gabby", and "pouting" to "not believing for a minute that Carlos is going to be the only one with his hands on his nine-iron." She presents him with a set of monogrammed golf balls -- with her initials. "I want everyone to know who your balls belong to," she says. Just what every man wants to hear. ["Wow. Subtly written dialogue. I'm not sure I get what they're getting at." -- Miss Alli]
Hey, it looks like Gabby is "going" on that "golf" weekend -- oh screw it, you already know. As Carlos drives past her house, they firm up (dirty!) their plans via cell phone. But from her front porch, Gabby notices that there's a guy in a parked "cable" van sitting across the street. Realizing that while Victor may be out of town on a business trip, he appears to have hired someone to tail her, Gabby decides to put her gardening crew of about ten fifth-graders to an unorthodox use. She calls them all in, and a few minutes later, they all come rushing out again, mounting their bikes. The guy in the van doesn't seem to notice that the number of kids is one greater than the number of bikes, and that one of the kids -- the one balancing on another kid's handlebars -- is a wee bit taller than the rest. Just a wee bit, mind you. Yes, it's Gabby, in a striped shirt and baseball cap. "As soon as we get around the corner we're going to have to adjust this horn," she calls back to her two-wheeled chauffeur, who somehow manages to refrain from giving it a salacious honk just to see what happens. You got that "cable" means "surveillance," right?
Gabby looks to have brought a change of clothes with her. She's about to meet Carlos in the lobby of the hotel they've set up as the place of their assignation, when suddenly, who should pop up but Ex-Gardener John, with a very pregnant Tammy on his arm. Carlos ducks behind a fern. After assuring Gabby that while her dad owns the place, she's not one of those "skanky" hotel heiresses (all evidence to the contrary), Tammy asks how John and Gabrielle know one another. Upon hearing "gardener," she makes with the annoying "married up" comment, prompting John to become irritated, which he quickly swallows because after all, how hard can it be for a young married couple to pretend they don't hate each other in public for ten seconds? John heard about Gabrielle marrying the mayor, who of course is a good friend of Tammy's dad. Who still owns the place, by the way. It's just not a Gabby affair unless she has thirty possible ways to get caught, you know. Gabby claims she's there for a spa weekend, and finally shakes them off. When she catches up with Carlos, she realizes that he didn't recognize Tammy and John. So Gabrielle isn't about to tell him the truth about who they were. After all, why does the more cautious of the two of them need to know they're only two degrees of separation from getting shot in the genitals?