Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: C+ | Grade It Now!
Art Isn't Easy

Bob and Lee are apparently trying to drum up support for their fountain. So they turn to Lynette, predicting that once Katherine and the homeowner's association are done with the fountain, the Scavos' treehouse will be next. Lee plays the old "when they came for [blank], I said nothing" card. Is Lynette sold?

Let's find out, here at the homeowners' association meeting. After getting Ida straightened out (if you'll pardon the expression) on whether this is about fountains or gays, Katherine gives the world's shortest campaign speech, promising to eighty-six the fountain when she's president of the association. Lynette asks if that's all Katherine has in her sights, and if her treehouse will be left alone. Katherine very pleasantly says that if Lynette's treehouse turns out to be against the rules, well, rules is rules. So could they just go ahead and ratify Katherine's unopposed candidacy, please? Not so much, because Lynette just decided to oppose her.

Back in the Scavo kitchen, Tom argues that Lynette probably isn't up for this right now. He offers to run in her place, but she says he'll lose. "Bossy women rule this street," she says. Tom protests quietly, but quickly backs off when Lynette waves around the giant knife she's using to cut mushrooms or something. Lynette claims her campaign is about personal freedom, but Tom thinks she just wants to fight with Katherine, instead of fighting her cancer like she really should. "A tumor is a tumor, whether it's in your body or living across the street," Lynette says, punctuating the thought by bisecting a red pepper. Which is really not all that tumor-shaped, to be fair.

Gabby and Carlos are just about to get busy in their hotel room when there's a knock on the door. Guess who? It's John. Brilliant. Gabby comes clean to Carlos about the earlier encounter, and after she throws a robe on over her slinky PJs, she tries to get Carlos to hide in the closet. Carlos refuses, until Gabby tells him about John's connection to Victor. "You know, the guy who hired someone to tail us and possibly kill us?" And that's Carlos in the closet, right there. Gabby answers the door, and John brightly says that he wasn't ready to start up their affair last fall. But now he is. And with that, he lets himself in and starts kissing her. Watching through the louvered closet doors that are de rigueur on TV, Carlos's eyebrows shoot up almost high enough to rattle the hangers.

At night, Lynette comes up to Susan to ask for her support in the election. And Susan shoots her down, because she needs the fountain out of there so she and Mike can sleep, and maybe Mike can have more than one scene next week, including possibly one in which he's vertical. "Tired people aren't witty," she pleads. What's her excuse the rest of the time?

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Desperate Housewives




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