Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
Evany: A | 3 USERS: A+

According to a title that flashes on the screen, it's "The Night Before." Lynette is dreaming about the last time she saw Mary Alice. In the dream, MA is out in front of her house, checking her mail, and Lynette is unloading some groceries from her car. MA has opened one of her letters and it's clear that what she's reading is very upsetting (undoubtedly one of the blackmail letters from Mrs. Huber). Something inside Lynette's shopping bag starts to leak, and a slow stain starts to spread across the bag, a stain not at all unlike the pool of blood from MA's eventual suicide. Get it? Subconsciouses are deep that way. Lynette asks if anything's wrong, but MA lies that she's "fine." Looking unsure, Lynette goes inside her house, and MA heads off to go shoot herself. We hear the sound of a gunshot, and Lynette wakes up in a sweat. According to MAVO, this is a reoccurring dream. And I can see why: Lynette's hair seriously looks great in this dream world, no wonder she keeps coming back for more.

"Friday Morning." No credits this week, we're getting right to it tonight. Lynette, Susan, and Gabby are standing out on Wisteria Lane, drinking coffee, and Lynette is telling them that she had "The Mary Alice Dream" again. What, Friday morning and Lynette isn't getting ready for work? Though I'm not really complaining: the last thing I want is another illogically gross "worker-bee Lynette eats raw bacon" scene. The Ladies cluck sympathetically, soothing that there was nothing Lynette could have done to prevent MA's death.

Just then, the ladies all notice a guy coming out of the old Young house. There are a bunch of boxes piled up out front, and the realtor sign on the lawn reads "sold." Gabby coos that he's "cute," which seems weird, because he's a very regular-looking, ho-hum guy -- not Gabby's type at all. In fact, he's played by Matt Roth, also known as Fisher, Jackie's abusive boyfriend on Roseanne. Really, what is it with Desperate Housewives and Roseanne? Is there like a rift in the space-time continuum between these two shows, some wormhole that these characters keep randomly popping out of? And if so, who from Wisteria Lane is making the swap over to the Conner house? Is John the Gardener trimming Roseanne's hedges at this very moment? Or maybe Danielle and Darlene are doing some girlish "experimenting"? And if you really want to melt your mind, then get this: the actress who plays Jackie, Laurie Metcalf, is actor Matt Roth's real-life wife. Which is so meta, and yet so meaningless at the same time. I might need more coffee.

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Desperate Housewives




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