Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
Evany: A | 4 USERS: A+

When the shots start to fly, Harv(Gar)y makes a run for the Manager's office, and this time we see that he pushes Edie in front of him.

With her back to the office, Jackie tells everyone to get down on the floor. This is now officially a hostage situation, and we are now officially all caught up in the ripple-time shift device of this episode. And here's where everything starts to get good.

Out in the limo, Susan tells Ian to go on to Paris without her, apologizing that "Julie picked a lousy time to rebel." Ian offers to bring Julie with them, but Suddenly Mom Susan balks that a trip to Paris isn't exactly punishment. Ian: "Once we get her on the flight, we'll make her fly Coach. Middle seat. No mercy."

A checker makes a run for the door, and Jackie shoots him in the shoulder, and he staggers through the door. Everyone starts to scream, and Snora and Lynette, who are at the front of the store, roll around on the floor together in a scramble to get out of Jackie's sightline. Jackie: "Attention shoppers, we're having a special today on not getting shot, but it's only available at the back of the store." Oh shit! Shoppers start moving to the back of the store, but Lynette and Snora stay put. Jackie recognizes one of the shoppers, a non-descript blonde woman; apparently, the woman's son, Jordan, is in the Sunday school class that Jackie teaches. Jackie: "Oh, a great little boy. So don't do anything that will make him wake up tomorrow without a mommy."

With everyone (aside form Snora and Lynette) cattled into the back of the store, Jackie explains that they're all going to have to sit tight until she gets a chance to "talk" to Harv(Gar)y, and when she says "talk," she wiggles her gun suggestively. "Harvey," she yells, "You're inconveniencing your customers. Now GET OUT HERE!"

Harv(Gar)y, watching this display through the security cam from inside the office, is understandably reluctant to go out there for that "talk." Instead, he's on the phone with the police. Edie, noticing that both Austin and Julie are out there, commands Harv(Gar)y to go outside. Edie, all mama-bear crazy: "She has got ten innocent people out there. Sometimes you got to take one for the team."

Up at the front of the store, Lynette for some reason tries to call Tom. Not the police, but Tom. Why? I don't know. Also, where is Kayla? Out in Snora's car? What? Huh? Grr. Instead of answers, all we get this whole super-annoying scene where one of the Ps answers the phone but he won't hand it off to Tom because he wants to tattle on his brothers for not leggo'ing his Legos, blah, blah, blah. By the time Tom makes it to the phone, Jackie's got a gun to Lynette's head. Lynette hands over the phone, and Jackie folds it shut pointedly. Really, it's a miracle Lynette hasn't found herself in this position before now.

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Desperate Housewives




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