Desperate Housewives

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What Can You Do For Me?

Bree, Susan, Gaby, Lynette, and Katherine play poker at Lynette's. Gaby announces that Carlos is Fairview's Latino Businessman of the Year. She says there will be a huge dinner, and they're getting a picture with the mayor and his wife. Susan thinks that's not likely since the mayor's wife just hired the sleaziest, most unethical divorce lawyer in town. Bree's curiosity is piqued, so she asks who. Susan says it's Karl, who's a total shark. She says the worst thing about their divorce was that she couldn't hire him to represent her. Bree thought you just split everything down the middle in a divorce, but Susan says not with Karl, who finds all the loopholes and hides all the assets. Tom interrupts to tell Lynette it's almost midnight. Everyone wonders if they're being kicked out. She tells Tom she'll be right up, and everyone wonders what's up. Lynette says she and Tom are reading a book that suggests couples have sex every night for a month. She says they've been having some problems, and the theory is it creates intimacy, and it's working, she says. Tom hollers down the stairs, and Lynette interrupts her talk about how they're more attuned to each other's needs by yelling back, "Geez! Two seconds!" Bree says they should go, but Lynette says she and Tom have this down to a science, so just to deal her out for a few hands. She runs upstairs and the ladies keep playing.

The next morning, Juanita goes into Gaby's bathroom and looks at herself in the mirror, then looks at a pretty modeling magazine cover of her mom. Gaby calls her down, and says there's cinnamon toast on the table. Juanita says she's not hungry and runs out with her hood up. We see her get on the bus, though, and she pulls off her hood to reveal makeup applied clown-style. Or, you know, six-year-old-style. At Creepy Dave's, he's on the phone with Susan, inviting her and MJ to go fishing this weekend. He thinks MJ would love it, and he really wants to do something to thank her for being so good to him since Edie died. Seriously. I get that the guy's crazy, but can he not see that she actually has been good to him and just forgive? He's standing above some printed out news articles about people dying in Bass Lake. Because he couldn't come up with a drowning without internet research. What a mastermind.

Gaby's vacuuming when she gets a call from Juanita's principal. She asks what's up, and then: "She's wearing WHAT?!" Then she's letting Juanita out of the car and leading her into the house, screaming. Juanita says she doesn't have to yell, but Gaby asks if Juanita realizes how humiliating it was for her to get that call today. Now every parent is going to think she let Juanita wear makeup to school. She wants her makeup back and digs into Juanita's backpack. She finds the magazine, and asks why Juanita has it. Juanita says she was trying to look like Gaby. Gaby stops yelling, and asks "Why?" Juanita says some girls saw Gaby picking her up at school yesterday and said she must be adopted, because she's not pretty enough to be Gaby's daughter. That's seriously sad, and the little girl who plays Juanita is a much better actor than I thought at the beginning of this season.

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Desperate Housewives

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