Desperate Housewives

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What Can You Do For Me?

Bree finds MJ sitting on Katherine's porch and offers him a macaroon. She pretends she made way too many and would hate for them to go to waste. He says they're his favorite. She says she could bake them for him every week for a tiny favor: Invite Evan to his sleepover. MJ says he doesn't like Evan; he's mean. Bree says that deep down, Evan's just a boy who wants friends. MJ says he hit him with a dead squirrel, and Bree snaps that if we nitpick, we can find flaws with all of our friends. Well, if your friends are Bree's friends, that's certainly the truth. You don't even really have to nitpick. MJ still says no, so Bree offers ice cream with the macaroons. Just then, Orson comes out and tells Bree he took the cash out of her wallet since he's late for golf and didn't have time to go to the ATM. She sits down next to MJ, and tells him that there is someone in her life who hits her with a dead squirrel every day, and MJ's the only one who can help. She begs him to invite Evan. He relents, so Bree kisses him on the forehead and leaves. MJ, to himself, "Boy, the stuff I do for macaroons." That kid is adorable.

Jackson's at Susan's with flowers, but she won't let him in. She says she's reached her maximum allowance for humiliation this week. He apologizes through the door that she thought it was a real proposal (yeah, dude, you can't apologize for that; you need to apologize for what you've done). He acknowledges that he probably should have led with deportation. You think?! She opens the door and says the maximum allowance is exceeded. She lets him in, and he says he's sorry and she has every right to be mad. She's not mad at him, though, just disappointed in herself for being so lonely and needy. She says she did what she always does, and let some silly romantic fantasy take over. He says he didn't know she still felt that way about him. She says she doesn't, that this isn't about him, and besides, he's moved on. He says he had to, since she pushed him away. He had to heal his heart and get over it. She asks if this is really the only thing he can do to stay here and do his work (because you cannot do art in Canada, you know). He says yeah, so she says she'll help him. But that there will be no love or sex, just marriage. He's all, "No sex?" She says no, because it needs to be like a real marriage. Hey, that's totally original! No one has ever made a joke about no sex during marriage.

Carlos enters the Latino Businessman of the Year banquet, and calls Gaby in behind him. She's in sunglasses. He asks her to take those off, since it's 8 at night. She does, but says people will think he's out with his anemic, lesbian sister. A lady walks up and Carlos introduces her as the lady who put this banquet together. Gaby introduces herself and says she doesn't actually look this hideous; she's just not wearing makeup so she can teach her daughter that beauty is on the inside. Hey, where are the girls? They come to the banquet in a separate car, I guess. The lady walks off, and Carlos asks Gaby to stop explaining herself. She doesn't want people thinking she condones this face. Carlos goes to find their table and when Gaby's offered champagne, she tells the waiter that she's not ill, she just isn't wearing makeup.

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Desperate Housewives

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