TV Party. Lynette's fallen asleep babysitting her kids -- much like that alkie, Bree. Parker (who, contrary to what I've reported elsewhere in these hallowed pages, is apparently younger than the twins, at least according to the boards) decides to go outside. The twins try to stop him, but he's only going "out front."
Bachelor City. Carlos and Tom are yelling football things at the television. Mike asks them what he was like before the accident, clearly hoping for insight into whether he's capable of being Monique's killer. Tom and Carlos, still focused on the game, wave off his concerns: oh, he's fine. Mike turns off the television, and Tom and Carlos groan. ["He can't just pause it? He's got a giant TV and no DVR? Ghetto!" -- Wing Chun] Mike, to Carlos: "I really need to know. You can be honest. You're my best friend." Tom shoots Carlos a WTF. Carlos: "Honestly? You were sort of mysterious. Kept to yourself. Nobody really knew you all that well." Tom, with a straight face: "And this is coming from your best friend." I still find it hard to believe that no one's mentioned anything to Mike about his previous relationship with Susan. Even knowing as we now do that Mike wasn't really that close with any of the Wisteria men, you'd at least think one of them would wolf about how much spicier Edie is than that scrawn, Susan. Or something?
Back to Lynette for her colossal freak-out scene, ugh. Okay! So. Lynette wakes up, can't find Parker, and starts to panic. It goes without saying that she runs right over to Art's house and starts banging on the door. When he opens up, she demands that he hand over her son. Art insists that Parker isn't there, but she shoves past him into the house, and starts stalking through all the rooms. A nice "bona fide mom" touch: Lynette has a pink plastic baby's barrette in her hair; clearly she was playing hair salon or whatever with Penny earlier. Though it also makes her look extra-crazy. Lynette screams, "Parker, Parker!" Art, all sense of friendliness now gone, tells her that she can't just bust in like this, but she runs down to the basement, now completely stripped bare. Lynette asks where all the toys are. Art: "That was a collection I was taking up for the children's hospital. I delivered everything yesterday." Now, does he look guilty here? Or does his expression simply convey irritation? I can't quite tell. Lynette, clearly without a sense of self-preservation (she is, after all, alone with him in his basement): "Did you donate the photos, too?" Art stands there, saying nothing. Because he's guilty? Or just because he's confused? Lynette runs back upstairs, yelling for Parker, and Art follows her: "What exactly is it that you're accusing me of?" Lynette screams something at him about not "playing dumb," and that she's "calling the police." Art's sister, Rebecca, asks if anything's wrong, ha, and Lynette, her signature veins of rage sticking out all over her neck and face, screams again and again that she can't find her son. She starts heading upstairs. Rebecca, looking out the window: "Isn't that your son?" Lynette goes running outside, and there's Parker, standing with Tom; it turns out he just went over to Mike's to find his dad. Lynette runs over and hugs and kisses on Parker, and over his Richie Cunningham head, she stares down Rebecca and Art, who are out on their front porch, staring right back. The "Lynette Just Can't Seem To Solve Problems In A Straightforward Manner" music swells, kicking us straight into commercial.