Ian steps out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel and the glistening remains of a shower. Rupert's presence comes as a surprise: wasn't he off to see his sister for the weekend? Ah, so that's why Ian allowed Susan to accompany him back to the castle: all potential witnesses were scheduled to be elsewhere. Rupert, with lots of sarcastic winks and puffs, indicates that "boss" (using Susan's word) Ian clearly has his weekends confused. Good thing, too: now Rupert's had the chance to meet the "girlfriend" (Susan's term, again, which he delivers dripping with acidic judgment). Ian distractedly explains that he and Susan met at the hospital, and then he flees to go get Susan a robe. While Ian's off searching the vast corridors of the bathroom, Rupert pointedly offers to get Susan breakfast: "Omelet? Strawberry tart? Brioche?" Susan giggles uncomfily. Oh, she's fine with whatever he chooses for her. Rupert: "You are aware there's a Mrs. Hainsworth?" Susan, confused: "Of course." Rupert: "Tart it is!" MAVO: "What's a fairy tale without a dragon to slay?" I'm not entirely sure why Susan is so confused by Rupert's take on the situation: surely it's occurred to her before now that her relationship with married Ian is morally murky? Not that I think it's wrong for a man to move on to a new woman after his wife's been in a coma for three long years, but I definitely think that neither Susan nor Ian put enough agonizing into the decision to move on; and no I don't think dousing the wife in a strawberry smoothie counts as agonizing.
Police station. Lynette is wearily trying to convince a policeman that Art is a pedophile; Tom sits next to her, looking very alert and supportive. By the policeman's weary look, it's clear that they've been at this for a while. Exasperated Cop explains that Art isn't a registered sex offender, and that they "can't book a guy for possession of toys." Lynette screeches about the photo collage of half-naked boys. Cop, dismissively: "Didn't you say he was a swim coach?" So, apparently a job as a swim coach is an excuse for almost any suspicious behavior, at least in the eyes of Fairview's finest. (Note to pedophiles: sign up for that swim safety course today!) Cop: "If your neighbor had something to hide, why did he invite you in to see all this stuff?" Lynette and Tom exchange uncomfortable glances, and Lynette wrinkles up her nose in a way that's probably meant to be winning, and explains that, "technically," she entered Art's house without his permission. The cop gives them the hairy eyeball. Tom and Lynette do the Scavo bicker dance, which Lynette cuts short by yelling, "There is a monster living across the street, and Barney Fife here is making me sound like the bad guy!" Lynette stomps out, and Tom lingers behind to try to explain Lynette's behavior. Lynette, from out in the hallway: "You better not be apologizing for me!" Tom sits there, lizard-blinks for a few beats, and then says to the cop, "Gotta go!"