Desperate Housewives
Beautiful Girls

Episode Report Card
Evany: B- | Grade It Now!
Beautiful Girls

Back at the Butler Brow-beatdown, Susan comes out of the bathroom wearing nothing but towels and asks Ian, "Is the coast clear?" Ian, who's fully dressed and pouring coffee, chuckles and informs her that Rupert is downstairs, making their breakfast. They chat about the Rupert situation: he's been working for Ian forever, and he's always been so devoted to Jane. Susan decides that she'll just have to "charm" Rupert -- you know, "warm him up a little." Susan leans over, way, way over, to pick up her dress off the floor. Just then, Rupert walks in through the doorway behind her, getting a full blast of her full moon, and crotch, and god (plus twelve men, including Ian) only knows what else. Without skipping a beat, Rupert makes a fluid little U-turn and walks right on out of there, his vision miraculously still intact. Susan never even notices that he's there. Ian (who saw the whole thing), with a private-joke archness: "Well, I'm sure you'll find a way [to warm Rupert]." Oblivia returns to the bathroom to change back into her morning-inappropriate, walk-of-shame cocktail dress. Speaking of which, Susan calls from the bathroom, maybe she could keep a drawer of her things at Ian's house, just like Ian has at her house? Ian, looking blindsided, stutters, "D-do you think we'll be here that often?" Susan -- misinterpreting his question as hopeful versus worried -- replies, "Your shower has six power nozzles. With or without you, I'll be back." You can tell it's supposed to be a light-hearted tease-joke, but it comes off as kind of forced and maybe even a little stalky? Ian tells Susan to go ahead and take a drawer. Susan heads over to open one of the drawers in Ian's bedroom, but Ian cautions her to check with Rupert first. Apparently, Rupert has everything organized just so. "You'll never win him over," Ian advises, "if you mess with his system."

At this moment, Rupert walks back in with the breakfast tray, and Susan (now dressed, finally) tells him that his "timing's perfect." Rupert, archly (his default mode): "Not always." Ian tells Rupert to find Susan a drawer for her things, and Rupert looks sullen and lemony. Susan, in a way she clearly thinks is endearing: "Yeah, Rupe. I hope we can be good friends, because you'll be seeing lots more of me." Cringe score: 2. Rupe: "Oh, madam. That hardly seems possible." Get it? It's because he's already seen her treasure tunnel. Oh, Rupe. Why so condescending? Did you talk to Garfield with that mouth?

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Desperate Housewives




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