Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: B | 1275 USERS: B-
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In the Dark

Previously: Susan married Mike, and it pissed Katherine off. Lynette doesn't love the twins she's pregnant with. Gaby became Ana's guardian. Bree started an affair with Karl. A new family moved in on Wisteria Lane, and then Julie was strangled. But don't mourn her yet, folks. Mary Alice's voiceover starts out all about Mrs. McC and how she met Roy (it's Bob!), the guy she told Gaby about last week. To make a long and tedious story short, she liked him, he liked her, they flirted, they had sex, she thought she might love him, then decided to tell him. So, they go for a walk and she works up the nerve to tell him. She tells him how much she likes having him around, since he puts the seat down and can drive at night. This is how old people sweet-talk, I guess. She talks about her dead husband and meatloaf, and ends with "I love you, Roy." She asks if he has anything to say and he says she knows how he feels. She'd like to hear the words, but he screams, "What the hell?!" and runs over to Julie, lying in the grass, the day after she was attacked. THE NEXT DAY. He's calling 911, as Mrs. McC looks on. Mary Alice isn't sure if it's because of Roy finding Julie's body or because she thinks he's not going to tell her he loves her back, but she screams. And we get a close-up of her mouth as she does so, which was totally unnecessary. Main titles.

"Ten Minutes Earlier." Mary Alice tells us how nicely the morning had begun: Bob reads the Sports section. Celia's playing with her doll (and, because she's a Solis daughter, banging it against the porch railing). And Mrs. McC and Roy are starting their walk. At Susan's, she's awake and putting on makeup while Mike sleeps. Then she wakes him and kisses him. He thinks this is all perfect, with her breath mint and everything. She thinks it could be better, and gives him a breath mint, too. They can't believe they got married last night. I mean, it totally felt like it had happened before. Mike interrupts them before they get to have morning-after-wedding sex. Susan's so happy with her life, with all of them back together and Julie back home. Then Mrs. McC screams outside.

Desperate Housewives

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