Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: C | Grade It Now!
Out With A Bang

Karl approaches Orson and asks to talk to him. Orson wonders if it can't wait, and Karl says it really can't. They go inside Santa's workshop. [Which is incredibly spacious and well-decorated for a street festival.- Z] Orson says if it's about the settlement, he told Bree there's very little he wants. Karl says it's about what he wants: Bree. Orson says Karl's too late, since she already has a boyfriend, so Karl lets him catch up. Orson, "So, wait, you are having sex with my wife?" Karl goes on that they don't want to make this hard on Orson, but he wants to warn him. Orson calmly punches Karl in the face. Karl gives him that one, but keeps talking. Orson punches him again. It's so awesome. But then Karl decides to fight back. He tells Orson he's proposing to Bree with an airplane banner, which will be the highlight of his day. He pushes him down. Then Orson stands up behind Karl, politely says, "One moment please," and hits Karl upside the head with a giant candy cane. I love Orson.

Lee's pouring eggnog. Celia runs up and cutely says hi to Lynette, who offers to take her to see Santa. Gaby swoops in and grabs her and says she'll take her daughter to see Santa, thankyouverymuch. Lee walks by and breathes heavily, like, "Women. This is what you get for trying to keep me out of the Jingle Belles." Down the street, Angie gives Mona an envelope. Mona's shocked she's doing this right here, like this. Mona thinks the envelope seems small, and Angie admits it's just $10,000 and her ring. Mona wails that she already quit her job. [Because she's an idiot and a blackmailer? - Z] Angie says it's all they have right now, and it's the best they can do. Mona stalks off, but Angie says she has a job at Bree's and will pay the rest off as she makes it. Mona says sure, until Angie disappears into thin air. "Just because I have lawn gnomes doesn't mean I'm stupid." [No, quitting your job before your illegal blackmail scheme pays off is stupid. - Z] Angie says she doesn't know the whole story, but Mona says she knows Angie killed someone and walked away scot-free. Angie shows her the ginormous burn mark/scar on her back and asks if that looks like scot-free. Mona looks shocked, and Angie says she doesn't think Danny told her the whole story, and maybe she should hear it.

Back down the street at the party, Lee's telling Bree he ran four miles today and is now drinking eggnog, which is basically mayonnaise with rum in it. I love Lee and all, but he's sure in this episode a lot without doing much of anything that matters, don't you think? I hope that doesn't mean it's his farewell episode or anything. Bree's distracted by the shaking and grunting going on at Santa's workshop. She excuses herself, and then Lee notices the plane sputtering toward them. In Santa's workshop, Bree can't believe the fighting. She screams for them to stop it, but they completely ignore her. Angie's finishing her story to Mona when we rejoin them, saying they've been looking over their shoulders ever since. Mona thinks the story sounds so reasonable that Angie should be able to go to the cops (so I'm thinking we're going to think she's not that bad when we find out). But Angie says she can't do that, since a person is dead. Mona says Angie has until tomorrow to come up with the money or she goes to the police. She adds a snotty -- not to mention racist, given her earlier comments about Italians -- "Capisce?" She stalks off.

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Desperate Housewives




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