Desperate Housewives

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DeAnn Welker: B- | Grade It Now!
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Arrested Development

Dinner. Angie's setting a dish on the table as Orson asks, "My goodness. Another course?" Angie says her Grandma Bombelli always said that if men can still button their pants, "dinner ain't over yet." Bree smiles awkwardly. She takes a bite of her food, and Nick asks if Angie's braciole is amazing or what. Bree admits she's never had it before and it's quite tasty. Angie grabs Bree's napkin and stuffs it in the top of Bree's shirt, saying she wouldn't want to stain her gorgeous blouse. Bree says she's a neat eater, but Angie says when Nick starts twirling pasta, no one's safe. Orson, ever jovial, agrees he got some friendly fire from a meatball earlier. Everyone laughs. Nick says he's glad they're finally doing this, and Bree lies they've been busy. Nick says if Bree needs someone to replace Katherine, she could do a lot worse than Angie, and Angie plays modest. Nick says she has all of her Grandma Bombelli's recipes, and Orson starts to say that if the food is all this good... but Bree interrupts and says they're not hiring. She tells Angie she's sorry, and Angie says it's okay. But Nick pushes the issue, and Angie asks him to zip it, since Bree would know if she's sure since she's had four services. Nick says he's just trying to help, and it was Angie's idea to cook for her. Angie slams her silverware down and thanks him for making their neighbors think she only cooks for people if she has an angle. Angie apologizes to Bree, which makes Angie even madder at Nick. It's hilarious. When Bree and Orson pretend to be having a great time, she even says, "Now you're making our guests lie." Angie goes to get another course and then Nick follows for wine, after telling Bree there are three more courses. Bree asks Orson to please unbutton his pants. Not exactly the context in which he's been wanting to hear that, but I bet he takes her up on it. Commercials.

Gaby's still teaching Juanita fractions as a housekeeper cleans around her. Gaby's using imaginary cabbages to teach fractions, but Juanita says she doesn't care since she hates cabbages. Gaby tells her to pretend they're balloons, but Juanita says there's no such thing as half a balloon. Gaby threatens to give her half an allowance then. As if a seven-year-old actually cares about allowance. Especially a rich seven-year-old. Gaby makes an insulting comment about how Juanita could end up a housekeeper, and both Solis women look at the housekeeper, who's hearing everything. Gaby apologizes, and tells Juanita they can go get ice cream if they finish this page. Juanita, in a huff, says she doesn't want to have ice cream with Gaby. Gaby goes to get some air and asks the housekeeper to make sure Juanita stays at the table.

Bree's holding a tasting for a couple. The man, Mr. Vitale, is clearly not impressed by her foie gras. She offers him other fancy dishes, but he's pretty meh about everything. He'd prefer something he can pronounce, but his wife says that's not necessary. She apologizes to Bree for her ignoramus husband, and he says that this ignoramus is throwing his wife an anniversary party for 500. Bree perks up and says she'd really like to cater this party. The guy tells Bree he's sorry, but his crowd from the Bronx is more of a sausage and peppers crowd. They start to leave, but Bree says she can do braciole. They turn, and she says she can also do gnocchi, tortelloni, and lasagna verde. She says those items aren't on her recipe, because they're family recipes from her Grandma Bombelli. She says she gets her hair from the Irish side, but her mom's side was all Bombelli. She throws in that she'll cook until the men unbutton their pants, and Mr. Vitale hires her on the spot.

Gaby comes back in, refreshed from her time outside, and asks Juanita to get back to it. But Juanita's done everything correctly. Gaby accuses her of cheating, but Juanita says Ivana helped her. Gaby doesn't even know who that is, but it's the housekeeper. Ivana tells Gaby, in an accent, that she told Juanita to think of fractions as a big chocolate cake with slices. Gaby figures cake would help Juanita focus, but it was really more about Ivana, who says she has a Ph.D. in engineering from the University of Bucharest, but that means nothing in the U.S. job market. Gaby's impressed, but then asks Ivana to get the hair out of the upstairs bathroom. But then Juanita needs more help, and Gaby calls Ivana, all "Doctor? I'm thinking that dream can wait."

Bolen yard. Nick's clipping flowers when Lynette walks up with a serious look. Angie, looking earthy and charming as ever in a cute summery dress with her hair up, asks Lynette if she'd like some wine, but Lynette says she's just here to ask Nick for gardening tips. Angie goes inside to get the wine for herself then, and Lynette jumps right in that she knows about him and Julie. She lectures him, but he stands up and tells her it's none of her business. She says Karl might not be great with this, and then tells him if he doesn't stop bothering Julie, he'll be sorry. She starts to storm off, but he asks if Julie also told her that she started it all, and there are two sides to every story. Lynette: "Your side is married." He says he tried to resist Julie, but she wore him down with her talk of never having felt this way before. He says she's been jerking him around. Lynette says she doesn't care, and he grabs her and threatens her that if she tells anyone, she's the one who will be sorry. Angie comes out and he goes back into gardening mode. Lynette looks worried. She goes home, and Tom instantly asks her if she's okay. She says she thinks she might know who strangled Julie. Or, you know, tried to strangle her since strangling actually means "to death." Commercials, including an episode of Another Desperate Housewife, in which the cheating husband is caught cheating on his mistress. Well, not caught, but she sees a text for him on his Sprint phone from someone named Gloria, so she shoots him. Then we see a devious woman watching, so we're to think it was a set-up. Am I actually starting to care about this?

Casa de Solis. Which is a huge mess. Carlos comes home and Gaby acts like everything's fine as she says she's about to serve dinner. He looks around and wonders why the housekeeper didn't start today. Gaby says she did, "and she's fantastic," still not getting why he'd wonder. She tells Carlos about the housekeeper's family escaping Romania, and he wonders if they were fleeing from cleanliness. Gaby says she didn't make her work her first day. They needed to bond. Juanita comes in to show off her fractions, and starts to say "Ivana..." told her, but Gaby covers her mouth, and says "Ivana take all the credit myself," so that Carlos will think she's the one who taught Juanita.

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Desperate Housewives

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