Dinner. Conversation is extremely tense and stilted. Mama Hodge compliments Bree on her glorious salmon, and Bree gushes that the recipe actually won her an award at the "Gourmet County Cookoff." MH asks Bree what gives the sauce that "kick," and Bree gives a "naughty-naught" ah-ah-ah, and then says, "You never ask a magician how a trick is done." Bree chuckles. Mama Hodge chuckles. Ugh. Orson pouts at the other end of the table. Mama Hodge asks Orson if everything's okay. And that's when Orson cuts loose with the vitriol: why is she here and what does she want? Mama Hodge comes clean: she wants out of that "hell hole" of a retirement home. Unfortunately, as Orson very gleefully informs her, she has no home to go back to: he sold it, along with all her possessions: "That's the thing about hell holes: they don't pay for themselves." Mama Hodge stands and thumps her fist on the table, screaming, "How dare you! You have no right!" Bree, horrified: "Okay! Maybe I will share my secret ingredient!" Mama Hodge, completely ignoring Bree's attempt to make nice, tells Orson, "I should have smothered you in your crib when I had the chance." Bree, frantically trying to smooth things over: "Paprika! There! Now [the secret's] out!" Orson, giddy: "That the mother I remember! I was wondering when she'd show up!" Mama Hodge: "Yes, Orson, I am your mother. So you, more than anyone, should know how I deal with betrayal." Was that a threat? Why I think it was. Mama Hodge walks stiffly out of the dining room, and Andrew says, "So, can we call her 'Grandma'?" I'm not sure I like how Andrew's been reduced to just a few one-liners, though I am happy that he appears to be out of his Satan phase. And at least he gets something to say; Danielle doesn't do anything in this scene but eat her secret-sauce salmon.
Episode Report CardEvany: B | 468 USERS: C+
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