Cut to Gabby and the fauxscout poring over the pages of Gabby's old modeling portfolio. Gabby's sipping on a glass of wine, and the fauxscout has a wineglass full of milk. Gabby points out a "genuine ocelot fur" she's wearing in one shot, "although the photographer was the real animal, if you know what I'm saying," Gabby adds, nudge, nudge. Wait a second, Gabby wore a coat made out of this? Gabby is Cruella DeVile. Incidentally, some of you may have heard the rumor that this episode features a hugely creepy scene in which a pedophile turns up on Wisteria Lane. Despite all evidence to the contrary, this is not that scene. No, no, the worst is still yet to come. Gabby catches herself after her creepy innuendo and tacks on a "which I hope you don't [know what I'm saying]. And don't do drugs." Fauxscout asks Gabby if she's ever going to model again, and Gabby dismissively dismisses the idea. Fauxscout: "Why not? What else are you going to do?" Cue the "Kids Are Conduits Of Truth And Also Pain" music.

Gabby, Susan, and Bree are gathered on Lynette's porch. Gabby has just announced that she's flying back to New York to see if she can reignite her glam model career. Bree and Susan are sad; they don't want Gabby to move. Gabby describes a "hole in [her] life that can't be filled by shopping." Gabby has the insight of a guru. ["I hope I never encounter a hole that big and scary." -- Wing Chun]

Tom pulls up with Lynette; she's been discharged from the hospital, her arm still in a sling. The ladies all gather 'round and coo. Gabby: "Taking a .38 slug to the shoulder agrees with you." In hushed tones, Lynette confesses that she and Tom have decided to keep the details of the incident from the P kids; Lynette has concocted a story, and told them that "Kayla is staying with her grandmother." Hmm. I wonder-worry if, by shuttling Kayla off to some never-before-mentioned grandmother, this means that Kayla has gone the way of Bongo the dog? The little P squad rushes out to greet Lynette. "I can't believe you got in a fight with a hobo," the biggest P trills in an clumsy attempt to get the plot moving. The adults all exchange puzzled glances. Lynette, by way of explaining the lame attempt at an excuse: "Yeah, well, let's see how well you do on a morphine drip." The last time I was on morphine, I sat all the way through Ice Bound (the made-for-television movie about the North Pole, which I turned out to have nothing to do with penguins and everything to do with breast cancer), so I'm going to have to vote with Lynette on this one: morphine melts your mind. Everyone heads inside for a nice welcome-home lunch...