Gabby is at Gardener John's. She frenches him hard, then starts stripping off her clothes. And if I were wearing that weird salmon-hued tuxedo blouse, I would be in a hurry to get it off, too. Gardener John notices her wrist, which is already covered in a nasty red welt, and Gabby explains that Carlos just got a little rough. John immediately goes to put on his coat, all, "I'm going to take care of this" and "we can't let him get away with this." Sweet! But Gabby says, "Look, you really want to get back at him? Then kiss me." "How's that going to help?" John wonders. "Because, one day, when the time is right, I'm going to tell him how he drove me right into your arms, and that's going to kill him." Or maybe push him to kill you, Gabrielle?
Back at the pancake restaurant (PANCAKE RESTAURANT!), Susan talks to Morty while Mom waits out in the parking lot. Susan wants Morty to apologize to Mom. What for, Morty wonders. "For shoving her?" Susan says, in a tone that's the equivalent of spinning your finger beside your ear, like, hello, crazy? "I only shoved her because she wouldn't stop hitting me." Ha. Then he confesses that she was hitting him because he threw a book at her. But it was a paperback! And he missed! Meanwhile Mom hit him in the gut, which really hurt, and does Susan want to see the bruise? Susan does not want to see the bruise, but she totally understands (Susan totally does not understand). But couldn't he just go out and apologize? No, because he doesn't want her back. Susan totally sympathizes (Susan totally does not sympathize), but he HAS to take her back! Because otherwise, Susan will have to suffer! "I'd like to have a relationship again, and at my age, with the kid, I mean, if she moves into the house, even for just a couple of years, I'm doomed," she whines, "she will burn up all my oxygen, and I need it." The predicament is a real one, but Susan's complete lack of empathy for anyone else's point of view is beginning to make me really hate her. To get her way, Susan gets Morty talking about the good times, the times between the violence. Morty admits that they "do have chemistry" -- Susan gives an awesome cringe here -- "and the sex was like...wow. There was one time on the interstate --" Susan interrupts with a bossy, "You don't have to sell me! Just go talk to her. Now." As Morty goes outside to Mom, Susan gabs with the waitress (who, by the way, is hardly younger-looking than Mom), sighing, "I think it's nature's little joke, that children ultimately end up parenting their parents" (Susan should know, Julie is already the parent in their relationship). Inevitably, over Susan's shoulder, we see Mom and Morty start to yell at each other, and then suddenly she's swinging her purse at his head, and Susan has to run out and break things up. Man, how could they be so SELFISH?