MAVO: "Saturdays on Wisteria Lane belonged to the children." Wow, really? I thought Saturdays on Wisteria Lane belonged to a pod of slender, maritally challenged women. "And while most would spend the day practicing their sports," and Lynette and family toss the football around their front yard, "and riding their bikes," and blackmailing Ashley rolls past Gabby on her blackmail bicycle and they exchange glares, "and jumping their ropes," and the camera pans past two girls jumping their ropes (Practicing their sports? Jumping their ropes? Is English Mary Alice's second language?), "others were no longer engaged in child's play." Zach is no longer engaging in child's play in his front yard, hunched over a rake and wearing a buttoned-all-the-way polo tee tucked into terrible jeans hiked high with a woven leather belt. That is one rakin' out, Zach. "Indeed some children were being forced to grow up very quickly." The cops are at the door, asking Paul a few questions about a certain toy chest, which Mary Alice purchased 12 years ago. Remember? With the dancing bears? Paul can't really recall such a thing, no. But Zach pipes up that he remembers it but good, remembers that it had balloons as well as bears, remembers that they threw it away when he was little: "I was standing on it and it just busted, remember dad?" Satisfied with Zach's fat lie, the police take off, but not before Zach asks them what the big deal is and learns that a toy chest just like the one he used to have had washed up on the banks of Torch Lake, with a woman inside. A chopped-up woman. "A woman?" Zach says with revulsion. As soon as the police are out of range, Paul says to Zach, "Obviously we need to talk," and together they go inside the house. From across the yard, Felicia looks on with intense interest and an enormous pair of gardening sheers. Inside, Zach yells at Paul for lying to him: "You said there was a man in the box!" "I told you a private detective had come to take you away from us, I never said it was a man." Forgive me, but...the Man-versus-Woman lie? Not the biggest issue here. How about the "chopped up" part, Zach? But Zach continues to zone in on Paul's lying. "For the last time," Paul says, "someone came to try to take you away from us, from the only family that you've ever known." Wait, does that mean Zach has a different, unknown family? Huh!
Episode Report CardEvany: B | 732 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT