Desperate Housewives
Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: B+ | 1447 USERS: B-
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Put Your Behind in the Past

Katherine's talking to the only people she apparently thinks she can in this case: Bob and Lee. They're like, "Holy Chaz Bono!" (Lee literally says that) when they learn about her sex with Robin the Stripper. She tells them that's the first time she's ever done that and Robin's out of town so she has a couple days to figure it out. She asks if she's gay now, and tries to tell them what happened, but Lee's grossed out at kissing. He tells her she's not gay, since she can't switch her entrée from meat to fish. Bob tells Katherine he was with a lot of women in his twenties. Lee: "Any excuse to drag that out." Bob goes on that he slept with a man, and knew that was right. Lee: "Then, 1,000 men later, he found me." Bob's point is that if it didn't feel right, it was probably a one-time thing. She says that might be the case, since she was drunk. Bob asks her to take sex out of it and see what happens, but she says they already live together, so going back to dating might be difficult. Lee tells her that is fast. "Maybe you are a lesbian." I don't get that joke; maybe I'm not up on my latest lesbian stereotype jokes.

Bree's introducing Sam as a new vice president to all of the staff, when Andrew stumbles in. Literally. Because he's his mother's son and is drunk in the middle of the day. He starts clapping loudly while Sam's making his "thank you" speech. Then he slurs that he was just showing his support. He tells Bree that just because she can't have a liquid lunch doesn't mean he can't. Sam offers Andrew some coffee, and then tells him he needs to go now, but Andrew basically throws him against the wall. Which is sort of silly, because he's ... little Andrew versus Joan's abusive husband. Sam says he'll take the rest of the day off, and Andrew's like, "See? I told you he was a slacker." Okay, that would be funny if he weren't so drunk and crazy. Oh, who am I kidding? It's funny because little wimpy Andrew is somehow supposed to seem threatening.

Lynette takes her grandma's ring to a jeweler and asks him to make a cheap knock-off. He says the ring is lovely, and she'll be able to tell the difference. Lynette says she's counting on opportunist Irina to have the ring appraised immediately and when she finds out it's a fake, Lynette's betting she'll be looking for a new money bags. The jeweler asks if that won't make her son mad. Lynette sweetly says that's why she keeps having kids: to replace the ones who hate her. Ha. As if that would work. They all grow up to hate you eventually, right?

Desperate Housewives

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