Desperate Housewives
Chromolume No. 7

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DeAnn Welker: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Put Your Behind in the Past
o tell her something about Patrick. Rose says fine, and asks what about the great and powerful Patrick Logan, but Angie first makes her promise she'll never tell Danny. Cut to outside, where Gaby finds Ana and Danny arriving. Ana says she has nothing to say to Gaby, but Gaby asks for five minutes. Ana gives her two, and tells Danny she'll meet her inside. Ana tells Gaby she knows she sent her to New York to get her away from Danny, and Gaby says she begged Luke to take her as a favor. BUT it turns out she was doing Luke a favor, too, because he thinks Ana's really talented. Ana's eyes light up a little: "He said that?" But Gaby tells her he also thinks she's a petulant, spoiled brat, which will kill her career, just like it killed Gaby's. Ana says she thought Gaby was successful, and Gaby says she was until everyone was tired of her crap. She tells Ana to go back to Luke and apologize. She says modeling can be a great ride, and she wants her to be successful. Inside, Danny tells his mom that Grandma wants him to stay. Rose cries and tells him she doesn't, because his mother knows what's best. She tells him they have a relationship now, and will talk all the time, but as long as he's there, neither of them is safe. Back outside, Danny and Ana hug goodbye, Angie says goodbye to her mom, and the nosy neighbor asks Gaby who that woman is. Gaby tells her it's her daughter, Angie, visiting from Fairview. Uh-oh.

Orson looks out the window of their house and says Sam's still out there and she should talk to him. Right, the creepy stalker outside your house? Talk to him. Bree says she has nothing to say to him, but Orson says he's 26 so was born before she married Rex. She says fidelity isn't the issue; it's Rex's secret life. Orson thinks it's fine to be mad at Rex, but not at the innocent young man. Bree says he showed up at work and didn't tell her who he was. She wonders what he wants, and Orson says there's only one way to find out. Bree goes outside and tells Sam he has two minutes to explain. (What's with everyone and the two-minute limit?) He tells her that his mother and father met at a bar, when they were both single. They had one night together, and she called him when she found out she was pregnant, but he'd already met Bree and was in love. He offered to support her, but his mother turned him down. Bree asks if he visited, and he says a few times, but his mother asked him to stop because it was too hard on him. She asks if he ever saw him again, and he says he did, from right here. He'd ride his bike by as a kid, and wonder why Rex would choose all of them over him. He says he could see they were perfect. And when his mother died six months ago, he decided he needed to meet Bree. She asks why he didn't tell her, and he says he wanted her to like him and wasn't sure she would. She says he looks cold, and hugs him, then invites him in for hot chocolate. It's very loving, but Andrew's watching angrily from his window. Maybe he should find his missing doctor boyfriend and stop the obsession with his mother.

Katherine's reading a book with no cover title, so ... her own diary, I'm guessing? Anyway, Robin comes back from her weekend wedding, and says she caught the bouquet. No pressure. She tries to kiss Katherine, who turns away. Robin asks if they need to talk, since they haven't. Katherine tells her she's a wonderful, beautiful person, and Robin says, "Oh, yowza." Katherine tells her she was drunk, and the other night was a mistake. She's so sorry. She picks up her book again, but Robin tells her that's complete crap. She's not going to let her blame it on being drunk. Katherine tries another excuse: She's been through a lot recently and was trying to forget that. She says she's not attracted to women, so it doesn't count no matter what. Robin says she knows how Katherine touched her and how she liked being touched. She says she might deny it now, but they connected and it counted. She kisses her, and Katherine kisses back. She says, "Okay. It counted." Robin thanks her, and they smile at each other. Not sure if that means it's the end or the beginning.

On the flight back to Fairview (and if it's far enough away from New York that they have to fly, does it seem weird that Gaby telling the woman just "Fairview" would be enough to tell her anything; are we to assume it's in New York? But I have never thought they lived in New York. But if they didn't, and it was a town called Fairview, you'd think she'd tell her the state. I get that they don't want us to know where Fairview is, but that's not working in this particular storyline), Danny goes to find an empty seat in the back of the plane, leaving Angie and Gaby alone. Gaby asks if Angie's okay, and Angie says she's just tired. Gaby tells Angie she might have picked up on the fact that she hasn't always been a good person, but she's going to work on it, starting with Angie. She tells her that she knows she has a secret, because they heard her and Nick fighting. She says she hasn't told anyone, but she wants her to know she's carried around a lot of secrets, so if she ever needs a friend...

Angie considers it for all of two seconds and then sighs and begins: "Okay. When I was eighteen, I wanted to save the planet. I organized protests against logging companies, big oil (but it sounds like "pig oil" when she says it), auto plants. But then I got involved with a bad guy. A really bad guy. He convinced me that we had to get more aggressive. Long story short: Someone got killed." Gaby asks if the bad guy is Nick, and Angie says no, that he's the one who helped her run away from the psycho. Gaby asks who the psycho is, and Angie says, "Danny's father." It's weird she'd only just now tell her mom that, but she's already telling Gaby. Good chance Danny will find out with so many people knowing.

Mary Alice's Voice Over picks back up that it's not always easy to see someone's true colors. Susan watches Mike stain a chair in the garage as MAVO says you sometimes must look beneath the masculine veneer (get it? Because he's staining a chair?) to see the fragile ego. All of the Scavos except Lynette are gathered happily around Irina's new ring as MAVO says you must ignore the sparkle of the jewel to know you're looking at a fake. Lynette stands aside, ignoring Inira's sparkle, knowing she's a fake. Bree walks from her dark kitchen into the lightened breakfast nook and serves Sam coffee. MAVO says you must bring the truth out of the shadows to see the beauty of its smile. "Yes, people hide their true nature from us every day, and sadly, we only find out when it's too late." Nosy neighbor lady calls "Mr. Logan." She tells him she's Rose's nosy neighbor, Iris, and she saw Rose's daughter. She says she'll tell him where she lives when she gets her $1,000.

Next week: Lynette catches Preston doing something naughty with his fiancee in her house. Gaby and Susan are in some sort of competition, and they'll both stop at nothing to win. Gaby's all sexy in front of construction workers. Andrew finds out Sam's his brother, and Bree thinks they'll hit it off. But then Sam smashes a guitar in Bree's pristine living room. Lynette gets a whole dish of something red to the face, courtesy of Irina. And our "dark stranger" Patrick Logan shows up, and Angie pulls out a gun. Then we hear a gunshot. So ... what does any of this have to do with Julie being attacked? Or does anyone even care about that anymore?

DeAnn, a writer and editor in Portland, Oregon, isn't sure encouraging a child to pursue modeling over, say, college is the best choice, but if it means no more Ana, I'll take it. You can contact her at twopmodmars@gmail.com.

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Desperate Housewives

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