Desperate Housewives

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DeAnn Welker: B- | Grade It Now!
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His Pants Are On Fire

Warren introduces Cold Splash, just like he did in the beginning (he pronounces it "Cold Splat" both times). Susan finds Julie outside and wants to know why she would say she's never getting married. I think Julie should respond, "Okay, I will. I'll marry Steven Weber right now." That might shut Susan up for five seconds. Actually, no, it probably wouldn't. This is Susan Meyer, after all. Julie tells Susan that her experiences with marriage have turned Julie off to the idea. First Karl, who cheated. Then Mike, the love of Susan's life, and that still didn't work out. Susan tells her that Jackson gives her hope again. And she believes in happily ever after and wishes Julie did too. They hug.

Lynette runs by as they're hugging, and into the bar. She goes up to Gaby, who's at the bar ordering a drink, and asks if she's seen Porter. Gaby hasn't. Across the room, Dr. Heller sees a Blue Odyssey poster, which has all of the band members' names on it. He looks ominously at Creepy Dave, who gets up and leaves just as Mike says that whole thing about not being a plumber, a masseur, and a guy who makes pizza tonight. Apparently the doctor is the guy Creepy Dave has to check with about the light cues, because he makes up this excuse after seeing that Dr. Heller saw the poster. Dr. Heller walks up to him and says, "He's in your band." Creepy Dave says he knows and that they've worked through everything. Creepy Dave asks him to trust him, but Dr. Heller wants to speak to him now, or he'll call the police. Creepy Dave says he wins, and then leads him away. Dr. Heller says he's only doing this to help, because he genuinely likes him. Creepy Dave tells him he likes him too. A lot. Then he leads him into a storage room and chokes him to death with his bare hands. After the doctor's dead, Creepy Dave apologizes. Cold Splash continues to play. All the guys are scared and can't believe Creepy Dave talked them into this. Mike wonders where he is. Back in the storage room, Creepy Dave's pouring gas all over the place and lighting some straw on fire.

Jackson starts to walk away and Susan tells him the band's about to start. He says he's going to the bathroom, but will be right back. A waiter tells him the men's room's packed, but there's an employee's bathroom "back there." He heads toward Creepy Dave and the storage room. When he gets back there, Creepy Dave's coming out of the storage room. Jackson asks if that's the bathroom, and Creepy Dave says, no, that's right there, and points across the hall. Jackson thanks him and enters the bathroom, at which point Creepy Dave locks the door from the outside. Two things: 1. What kind of bathroom has a door that can be locked from the outside? 2. NOOOOOOOOOO! Not Jackson! Obviously, Creepy Dave doesn't want anyone who knows he was back there to survive, but don't sacrifice Jackson. I will revolt.

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Desperate Housewives

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