Desperate Housewives
Color And Light

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Color And Light

Norma opens the door, peeps out a little cry, and then shuts the door. Lynette and Tom are debating whether they should leave when Mr. Porndog opens the door and gives them a friendly "What are you guys doing here?" Lynette apologizes for showing up unannounced, and then explains that she and Tom have something they want to discuss. Mr. Porndog invites them in, and Lynette delivers her spiel about how she's been leaving messages but no one's been calling back, and Tom jumps in and says, "And we really hope it isn't because of the porno video." Lynette, jumping in to correct Tom: "HOME! Home...movies." She goes one to explains that she and Tom don't care at all, and that they certainly don't think it's a reason to keep their kids apart. Tom: "Seriously, it's not a big deal. I mean, as long as you make sure it never happens again. It's the new millennium! We're hip." Lynette agrees: the Porndogs are just "having fun," which is "nothing to be ashamed of."

Cut to the Porndogs and the Scavos sitting in the living room, having drinks. Norma tells Tom and Lynette how relieved she is that they worked things out, confessing, "At one point, we actually talked about selling the house and moving." Lynette clucks sympathetically. Norma thanks them for being "so open-minded," and they all toast enthusiastically. Mr. Porndog: "I gotta tell you, the most embarrassing part about that video was how poorly it was shot: the production values are caca." This comment seems to throw Tom, whose beer arm freezes halfway to his mouth, but Lynette pluckily advances her opinion that "from a lay perspective, it looked very professional." Tom puts down his beer and shoots Lynette a little look. Mr. Porndog: "What you saw was an example of my earlier work. Since then, I've become much more adept at...production. You know: editing and lighting." Uh oh. Are Tom and Lynette going to get invited to join in on a "play date" of their very own, here? Norma: "Leonard has always dreamed of directing movies." Leonard: "Ironic, isn't it? I finally get my wish, and nobody ever gets to see my work." Nobody except his children, and Little Big P, that is. Lynette tells him that she thinks "that is a damn shame." And now she's done it! Leonard asks Norma if they should show the Scavos "The Room," and Norma smiles hugely. Oh boy. Leonard knocks back his drink, and his eyebrows give a little "let's go!" salute to the Scavos, who look absolutely stunned.

Cut to Tom and Lynette watching on as Leonard gives a rundown of all the specs for his camera, and also "dark sheets, so you don't get that kick off the pillows...took me a while to learn that little trick." Tom and Lynette don't say anything to this, but they both have "you don't say!" smiles pasted on their faces. Leonard: "These walls are completely soundproof. You could scream your lungs out in here and nobody would hear you!" Which, I think, is one of the scarier pieces of news you could ever receive from a new friend. Wow. Where in the hell is this scene headed? Norma -- who seems to be getting the fact that Leonard is oversharing -- agrees that it is, indeed true that no one can hear you screaming when you're in this room. Wow, poor Norma! Or wait, maybe she's into it? Hm. I can't...quite...tell. Proud Leonard tells the Scavos that any time they want to set up a shoot, all they have to do is let him know. Norma: "You guys would love it. Once you get in front of that camera, you feel like a...star." Oh okay. I guess Norma's into it. Tom puts his arm around Lynette, and she fires off an anemic version of her machine-gun giggle.

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Desperate Housewives

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