Desperate Housewives
Color And Light

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Color And Light

Meanwhile, over at the Breakup Bond-a-Thon, Susan and Karl appear to be, as the British say, "absolutely legless" (i.e., blasted drunk). Wait a second. If this is happening at the same time as Bree's therapy session, I guess that means that Bree goes to therapy in the middle of the night? Okay! Susan tries to stop Karl as he goes to pour her another glass: "Four glasses is my limit." (Ha! Four glasses? Considering Susan is all of ninety pounds, that means she's actually very, very drunk, indeed -- like, "wake up in Tijuana four days later" drunk). Karl promises to tell Susan why he and Edie split if she agrees to keep drinking. Susan: "Hit me." Karl tops off her glass and tells her, "Edie was making the bed, and found a picture I kept under the mattress -- a picture I didn't want her to see." What was it? Why, a picture of Susan! Which is just something Karl likes to "take a look at every now and then." Susan looks flabbergasted, and also drunk. And wait, is Susan suddenly eating strawberries in this scene? Are things taking a sexy turn? Yes! Because the very next thing Karl does is pull Susan in for a kiss! Susan looks incredibly confused, and also drunk, and then she busts into giggles: "What the hell was that?" Karl: "That was something I've been wanting to do for quite some time." Susan scoffs, saying that Karl's just rebounding from Edie. Karl points out that Susan is rebounding from the plumber, so "no harm, no foul." Susan: "Karl...don't be so weird." Ha! For some reason, this didn't strike me as funny before -- Susan calling Karl "weird," but it's very funny on the second viewing. Maybe I'm drunk? Karl: "We're two old friends who suddenly find themselves single. There's nothing weird about us helping each other out to be...a little less lonely." This argument seems to strike a chord with Susan, who looks suddenly looks very "now that you mention it"ish. And also: drunk. Cue the "ill-advised ex sex" music!

Mrs. Porndog is out in front of the Scavos', thanking Lynette and Tom for watching her boys. She reminds Lynette that she and her husband will be there next Friday to pick up the P-twins, whom they plan to take to the water park. Lynette -- who's holding baby Penny and looking highly uncomfortable -- tries to broach the "home porn" topic, but Mrs. Porndog starts doing Peekaboo with Penny which, given the most recent context of Mrs. Porndog's Peekabooing, understandably drives Lynette to blurt, "Okay, enough of that!" And then Lynette delivers one of her patented uncomfortable machine-gun "ha-ha-ha"s. Mrs. Porndog asks if there's something wrong, and Lynette, while nodding "no" says, "Actually, yes." Lynette looks over at Tom, who looks embarrassed, and then tells Mrs. Porndog, "We've agonized over whether to tell you this, Norma, but one of your private videos made its way into Jimmy and PJ's bag." Norma looks scandalized, and frantically asks if the kids saw it. Tom assures her, with a seemingly genuine desire to be helpful, that he caught the video in time, before she "took off her bra." Tears spring into Norma's eyes, and she tells the Scavos with a shaking voice that she really has to go. She scampers off to her minivan, and Lynette calls after her that they just thought Norma would like to know what happened. Tom: "Seriously, we're cool with it, as long as you keep it away from the kids!" But Norma screams something unintelligible about how she knew this would happen, and something, something! Without looking back, Norma peels out, and Lynette yells after her, "Norma wait, we're still on for next week. The water park. Right?" And the "there goes our one chance to pawn the P-twins off on home pornographers" music leads us into commercial.

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Desperate Housewives

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