Desperate Housewives
Come Back To Me

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B | Grade It Now!
Come Back To Me

Susan is over at Mike's. He brings her a glass of water, and she thanks him for helping out with Zack. She does not ask if she can get a wad of cash with her water. Mike says that Zack is "a little squirrelly, but seems like a good kid." He's totally squirrelly! I say that all the time! Writers, are you reading this? If you are, sorry I'm so mean. It's because I love. Also, because I love to be mean. Come on, you know you like it like that. I'm like the Maisy Gibbons to your Rex Van de Kamp. Mike asks how Julie is doing, and Susan explains that Julie accused her of being a bad mother. "She was sort of right. After my divorce, I really leaned on her a lot. And I still kind of do it. I just want somebody to talk to about all my adult stuff, and she's right there and she acts so mature that I forget she's fourteen." Mike nods and tells Susan that she can always talk to him about grown-up stuff. She smiles at him. "Well, I can't talk to you about everything," she replies. "What if I want to talk about the big crush I have on the plumber that lives across the street?" Mike grins. "Well, you'd have to tell me more," he says, and they giggle and she kisses his hand. "Thanks," she says. And that was charming and adorable except for how Susan apparently doesn't care about Mike's weapons cache because she's getting laid now, and I can totally relate to that, but she needs to know that you can ignore the weapons cache for a while and every time you're reminded of the weapons cache you can stick your fingers in your ears and just kiss the boy, but eventually that weapons cache will absolutely rear its ugly head and it will end up in your back yard, and then you will realize that you should have talked about the weapons cache back when you had the opening but now you guys are broken up and you're really upset because you realize that you should have paid attention when he told you he had a weapons cache, and thought about what that meant for your psyche and whether you could handle a relationship with a man who had a weapons cache and now you're completely screwed, and if you replace "weapons cache" with "commitment problem," then you now know the story of my last relationship.

Maisy's. Why, who could possibly be at the door? It's KimberBree! Maisy stammers that this is a nice surprise. "Would you like to come in?" she asks. "Well, that depends. Are you having an affair with my husband?" KimberBree asks.

Elsewhere, Paul and Zack have dinner. Well, by "elsewhere," I mean, "at Paul and Zack's house." Paul offers Zack some more mashed potatoes. "You already asked me that," Zack says. Paul serves himself some potatoes, and says he's so relieved that Zack is okay that he's not thinking straight. "Does that mean you're not going to send me back to Silver Crest?" Zack asks. Paul explains that Zack's fits of violence and breaking and entering had him confused. He didn't know what Zack needed. "You could ask me," Zack says, and then explains that, lately, he's been remembering stuff from when he was little. "Awful things." Paul tells Zack that sometimes it's not good to look back into the past. "I can't help it. These images keep popping into my head," Zack says. "Then you've got to find a way to push them back down again," Paul says. Repress, Zack! REPRESS! There is a moment of silence. Then, Paul: "More potatoes?" Zack: "Yes, please." Paul piles them on and says it sure is nice to be back to normal. The music swells in the background. I'd say those potatoes were drugged, but Paul is eating them, too. Is Paul drugging himself? I guess that's possible.

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Desperate Housewives




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