Desperate Housewives
Come Back To Me

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B | Grade It Now!
Come Back To Me

Casa Repossessed. Gabrielle is loudly wondering to their lawyer how she's supposed to live without a car. He exposits that Tanaka is still at large, and the powers that be want Carlos to flip on him, so they're playing hardball. And they can take anything she owns that they think they can tie to ill-gotten gains. Gabrielle yelps that some of their stuff was hers, from when she modeled! "I have dug myself up from dirt to afford these things, and no one is going to take them from me!" she cries. "Then I suggest you find yourself a good hiding place. They can't take what they can't find," the lawyer says, and advises that she also find the passport, tout de suite. Gabrielle sighs. ["That's some pretty terrible advice from Mr. Lawyer." -- Wing Chun]

So Gabrielle heads over to KimberBree's, her china all packed up in a box. She lies that she thought KimberBree might want to borrow it for a while. "Say, can I store some odds and ends in your garage?" she adds. KimberBree agrees, and Gabrielle sets to work packing up her nice things. When she's done, almost everything from her house is jam-packed into KimberBree's garage. When KimberBree sees this, she gives Gabrielle a supportive but weary smile.

Maisy's. She's still working over Rex, who seems to be, er, really enjoying himself...until he has a heart attack. Maisy calls 911.

KimberBree is at home, looking at Gabrielle's stuff. She is smiling at Gabrielle's wedding photo when she gets a call from the hospital.

Cut to said hospital, where KimberBree is wearing a fantastic kelly green trench and striding down the hallway like the Dr. Kimberly Shaw of old. She looks about five minutes away from punching someone in the on-call room. KimberBree checks in with the nurse, who tells her that Rex is being prepped for surgery. There's some business about how the nurse is surprised that KimberBree is Rex's wife, and although the nurse tries admirably to cover it up, KimberBree realizes that Rex's other woman brought him in. She looks at the sign in sheet and sees Maisy's name. You moron, Maisy. Why did you sign your own name? Unless you wanted KimberBree to know it was you...which of course, subconsciously, you did. Look, I worked that all out on my own! Give me a gold star. But what Maisy doesn't know is that KimberBree is probably going to blow up her house and give her a black-market lobotomy now.

Casa Ungrateful. Claire is a live-in nanny, apparently, since she's shuffling off to bed in her jammies while Lynette is in her own bed, gleefully watching the Nanny Cam Tapes. Lynette's face falls when it becomes apparent that Claire is no less than a modern-day version of Maria Von Trapp, playing a guitar for the children, and then putting ona puppet show for them. Later, I presume she will make them play clothes out of curtains, teach them to sing, break up Lynette's engagement to a Baroness, and then help them all escape the Nazis. ["I know you want some kind of Passions/Dynasty hybrid in primetime, but a series version of The Sound of Music is what I want for Christmas." -- Wing Chun] Anyway, Lynette appears almost disappointed that her nanny is not a monster, presumably because that means that Lynette sucks, and Lynette is all about herself. Here's the thing, Lynette: you can't have it both ways. Either be thrilled that Claire is wonderful and that you're lucky enough to be able to afford a live-in nanny whom your children adore, and get your ass back to work, where you appeared to be pretty happy; or shut your yap and do the full-time mom thing while hiring a maid to take care of your other obligations. Frankly, I would hope the nanny is doing a bang-up job with the kids, since that is her full-time job, and exactly what you hired her for.

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Desperate Housewives




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