Gay Matt finds Lynette reading her Home-Schooling For Dummies, And By "Dummies," We Don't Mean Your Kids, Exactly. He's thrilled that she's agreeing to his idea. She corrects him, and tells him that she is the one who's had a great idea: Gay Matt can stay home with the kids and she can go back to work. Lynette reminds Gay Matt that she used to make more money than he did, anyway. And she's made her sacrifices. It's his turn. Gay Matt stutters that the kids will totally drive him out of his mind. She gives him a long look. "Okay, I get it. Home-schooling is out. Out!" he says. And then Lynette announces that they're going to have to sell his sailboat. "Oh, no," Gay Matt says. "Aye, aye," Lynette responds sadly.
Meanwhile, Officer Steven is changing his shirt...by the road...in Cracktown. Okay. I don't know why he didn't pick Susan up after his shift, but...oh, wait, yes I do. It's so that Susan can see The Screwdriver of Evidence in the back of his car, get all bent out of shape about what a liar Officer Steven is, and storm off. What a drama queen. Which is exactly what he calls her. I like Susan, but she isn't very good at dealing with people. She doesn't deal well with the boys in her life. She doesn't deal well with her rivals. She doesn't deal well with her blackmailing neighbors. Steven calls after her that she probably shouldn't be storming away in the middle of Cracktown. But she tells him that she'd rather take her chances on the street than deal with him anymore. Say it with me: "Oh, Susan."
Over on Wisteria Lane, Zack takes a hatchet and breaks into KimberBree's empty house. Right.
Susan walks through Cracktown, also known as "the back lot," and sweetly informs a local prostitute that she's a leeetle bit lost. "You best be lost, this here's my corner," the whore retorts. Susan explains that, oh no, heavens, she's not a working girl, but if the whore could tell her where a pay phone is...and also, if she could loan her change for a five...in quarters? That would be great. The whore rolls her eyes: "Honey, if I got paid in quarters I'd be doing something very wrong." But this whore, like most whores on television, has a heart of gold. She loans Susan her bejeweled cell phone. "I have weekend minutes," she explains. Susan thanks her, as a john drives up. "Excuse me, honey," the whore says. "Do what you gotta do!" Susan thrills. Oh, Susan. You are so dumb. But you are quite charming. Susan calls Julie, who promises to send help. Susan's waiting on the phone when a man drives up. "Hey baby," he yells at her. "Thank you, no. I'm on a break," she calls back politely. "Hurry please," she hisses to her kid.