As Lynette refills the pool that she made Piccolo and Peccadillo dig -- and I feel like if you're making the kids dig a pool to tire them out, why don't you let them keep the pool and force them to swim laps? -- Susan watches and complains that Mike wasn't jealous about the Steve thing. Lynette wonders if Susan remembered to bat her eyes: "It doesn't work if you don't bat your eyes." Susan sighs that she batted everything "that wasn't nailed down." And got nothing. Susan, Susan, Susan. A guy like Mike isn't going to act all jealous because it makes him feel like he's showing weakness. Have you never read Women Who Love Too Much? Or Men Are From Whatever, Women Are From So And So? Go ahead and make him jealous, but don't actually expect him to tell you he's jealous! You have to wait for the jealousy to make him irritated enough to give in and sleep with you. Susan asks how she got the big hole in the ground. Lynette blames it on gophers. And she's sorry about Mike: "I know how much you like him." Susan shrugs that maybe she invented a whole relationship that didn't exist. Well, since you called him your boyfriend before you guys even kissed...I'd say that's possible. Lynette enables Susan by saying that she's seen them flirting. Susan says that she does this all the time: "That's how it is with me. A guy smiles at me three times, and I'm picking out wedding china. I'm a mess." Lynette mutters that it's part of Susan's charm. Susan stammers that she did the exact same thing with Karl, adding, "What does that mean, anyway? 'My life is complicated.'" In non-Wisteria Lane terminology, darling, it means he wants to sleep with you but not be your boyfriend.
In Wisteria Lane-ese, however, it means that Mike has to take time out of his busy schedule of shirtless gardening and skulking to visit shadowy older men at the park and talk mysteriously about how Mike left the screwdriver at the Frome house and how his prints are in the system and how he's got to run before the police find him. The Shadowy Older Man listens and then comments that the laughter of the children playing soccer nearby really pisses him off. He tells Mike to stay in character until his cover is actually, seriously, really blown. Mike thinks they're making a mistake: "These are nice people." SOM shrugs, "My money says one of them isn't." A little kid kicks his soccer ball over to them and races up to fetch it. SOM hands it to him kindly and chuckles. "No more screw-ups," SOM tells Mike after the kid has toddled off, and then SOM leaves.