But KimberBree is no dummy. She goes over to Zack's and invites him to dinner, chirping that she's making "a real Christmas meal," with lots and lots of real, old-fashioned egg nog. "It has quite a kick!" And by "kick," I believe she means "booze."
Lynette's. I am convinced that the baby and the Elder P are dead. Lynette reads The Fun of Home Schooling as Pageantry and Presentation wrestle. Brace yourself: she can't get them to shut up. I know, I can't believe it either. As they scream in the background, Lynette looks thoughtfully at a toy boat.
Gabrielle and Mama Solis shop. Gabrielle coos that she wants to spice up Mama Solis's wardrobe. And by "spice up her wardrobe," she means "trap her in the dressing room, slip something with tags on it into her bag of purchases, race off to 'run an errand,' and let Mama Solis get arrested for shoplifting so she can make out with her underage boyfriend." Generally I like Gabrielle, but she has acted like an asshole this week. Try keeping it in your pants, lady.
KimberBree is working on her Christmas dinner for Zack when Rex calls and asks her to come to dinner. So she runs out of the house and runs right into Zack, who tells her that he just found his mom's old Christmas stuff! He's very enthusiastic. KimberBree looks sad and sympathetic and tells him that something very important has come up, and that she has to reschedule dinner. Zack is disappointed, but agrees. KimberBree promises very kindly that they'll do their dinner later, and runs off.
Later that evening, Susan is on a ride-along with Officer Steve. He's not patrolling the street so much as looking up all of Susan's old enemies. One of them has a bunch of DUIs, a check-kiting record, and a bench warrant. "How tragic! By which I mean 'yay!'" Susan says cheerfully. Officer Steve thanks her for being such a good sport. She shrugs. "Time flies when you're on a stake out in Cracktown," she twitters. I have to say, I know that to be true.
Gay Matt finds Lynette reading her Home-Schooling For Dummies, And By "Dummies," We Don't Mean Your Kids, Exactly. He's thrilled that she's agreeing to his idea. She corrects him, and tells him that she is the one who's had a great idea: Gay Matt can stay home with the kids and she can go back to work. Lynette reminds Gay Matt that she used to make more money than he did, anyway. And she's made her sacrifices. It's his turn. Gay Matt stutters that the kids will totally drive him out of his mind. She gives him a long look. "Okay, I get it. Home-schooling is out. Out!" he says. And then Lynette announces that they're going to have to sell his sailboat. "Oh, no," Gay Matt says. "Aye, aye," Lynette responds sadly.