If Renee and Tom are the perfect couple, that's a juicy conversation that could turn Lynette human and actually be really touching. If Lynette tries to break them up, that is hilarious and plays into the Women Are Bitches thing this show loves so much. If Tom realizes he was in love with Lynette all along, that will be sad and bring the focus to Lynette and Renee's relationship, where the show keeps trying to go anyway.
Downsides: Black lady marrying a white man? Not on this show. Alfre Woodard'll lock your ass in the basement for even thinking about that. Break up a core couple? Not since Karl Meyer fucked his way up and down the entire street. Justify Lynette's bullshit even slightly? No, that would imply that angry women have reasons to be angry. Not happening. But if it did, that would rock the fucking mic. Wouldn't it?
SUSAN GIVES A SPEECH
Susan: "Susan Susan Susan, Me Me Meeee. The entire history of my life. How I'm feeling right now. How I felt this one time. How I will feel later. What's going on with my hair. I can't cook, but sometimes I can! Jokes about me! Statements about my friends that are either wildly off-base or secretly about me!"
Everybody: Gets bored.
Susan: "I'll burst into tears, if that keeps all eyes on me. I'll fuckin' do it."
GABRIELLE MARQUEZ SOLIS
Gabi heads home alone to get dessert ready, and is immediately cornered by Alejandro. It is once again seriously scary, and he says some really upsetting things, and it's just awful. She can't manage to shoot him, but thank God Carlos arrives just as things are getting triggery and bashes Alejandro's head in with a candlestick.
Gabi goes post-traumatic about how she didn't even fight back this time because it was so scary, and then before she can call the cops they realize that Alejandro didn't even have a gun. Logically, you kind of just have to plead the Fairview on what happens next, because defending yourself against rape is a thing you should do regardless of whether or not he's pretending to have a gun. But they talk about how she didn't even tell the cops she was being stalked, etc., and whatever. It gets there, in the diciest way possible, but that doesn't really detract from what went on before, or the fact that the main point is this:
The other three Housewives show up, assess the dead body, get the scoop, and then they circle the wagons in a believably quick way to save Carlos before the rest of the party -- including Bree's detective boyfriend -- shows up. Awesomely, they are coming down the street in a mob like zombies. The music does a great deal of the heavy lifting here, but it's still pretty awesome. Carlos is like, "Whatever, I killed the guy who came back to attack my wife, prison is fine," and Bree gets very tall and very beautiful and looks him right in the eye and goes, "That's not gonna happen."