BACK TO BITCHING NOW
Gabi: "So No because you don't wanna go, or No because you don't know what a progressive dinner is?"
Carlos: "Both. Especially since That Woman's gonna be there."
Gabi: "Oh my God, give it up. Your dead mom isn't coming back no matter how much you bitch. Also, this is about Susan. Think about how much bullshit you'll be dealing with if you don't go to her thing."
Carlos: "...Um, fuck is a gun doing in this house?"
Gabi: "Right. Well. Alejandro is alive and stalking me."
Needless to say, he holds her immediately. Of all the men in the world, she keeps coming back to him. He's so big, and so strong. Imagine what that feels like right now. He's another one I like way more than I usually get a chance to say, because this season has been about popping so many of her blisters and it's meant he's the Bad Cop most of the time. But obviously he's the only one you'd actually marry. (Besides Bob, duh.)
Carlos: "Any chance I can kill the shit out of him?"
Gabi: "No, I took care of it."
Gabi: "Almost. Guess it was enough just to know that I could."
I just wish that was a feeling you could send yourself, back through time. If you could know what it's like to be okay, before you actually figure out that you are okay. But that's like sending yourself plans for a time machine, I guess. You have to tell the story to get to the end of the story.
Renee's bartender is famous from like every TV show, the only black person we've seen all year, and hot enough that even if you didn't know where this was headed you would know where this was headed.
Bartender: "Hey, is this is a picture of you with [ex-husband she's always on about]?"
Renee: "Don't touch my shit."
Gays-As-Accessory: Arrive; fawn all over her like all gays always do; it's totally stupid; it's their purpose for existing.
Bob: "Sorry about your ex-husband you never shut up about. ESPN says he's getting remarried."
Renee: Loses her shit.
Lee, and I'll allow it: "This is what comes from watching sports!"
Renee: "Hot bartender, get me Naked Wasted."
Teeny: "Mommy, you look really pretty. And resentful."
Lynette: "Thanks, Sweetie. Where is your rat-bastard dad? And his symbolic suitcase?"
Teeny: "No idea. The more you guys use me as a football, the more likely I'll start pulling out my own hair and eating it. Trichotillomania. Bezoars. Bright orange, ginger bezoars."