Is now sitting on the piano, drunk as shit and singing "My Funny Valentine" for the third time. It's always fun to watch a fantastic singer pretend to be a shitty singer. They really know how to do that. Bob & Lee start out gazing at her like she's one of those singers people like them just adore, but eventually it gets gross and Lee, like a good gay lapdog, pulls her down for a sassy little heart-to-heart.
Lee: "Honey, Doug is a dog. He's not even worth thinking about. Trust me, you will meet someone else. Look at your life, look at your choices!"
ibid.: Snaps his fingers in some kind of formation, swings his neck around, does all the things.
Renee, to coin a fresh new lament: "All the good ones are either married or gay!"
Lee: "Honey child, aren't you sweet."
Renee: "I was talking about Bob?"
But for real, though.
BREE HAS FUCKED UP EVERYTHING
Has fucked up everything regarding Detective Chuck Vance's divorce. Offers him sliders in recompense. Calls them "mini-cheeseburgers," because this show respects you even less than you thought.
Lynette: "Tom can't make it. I am lying."
Gabrielle: "Same with Carlos. I am also lying."
Lynette & Gabrielle: "Our husbands are really hard workers, which is why we're rich."
Susan: Is poor.
Gabrielle, hilariously: "Oh, sorry."
Susan: "Lynette, is Tom really working? Or is that something you wouldn't want to talk about at a party?"
Lynette: "Susan, I am the worst. I am happy to tell you at this party in your honor that my husband has left me. Please don't make this all about me."
Susan: "I am like the one person you can always count on for that."
One cool thing mixing up the whole plot-progression is that different pairs and groups of them keep going to the next house to get things ready, so you have the perfect antidote to the problem this show has where it needs two or three storylines every episode that basically isolate the ladies from each other each week except in random groupings. This way, anybody can have a scene with anybody else, which really changes the shape and feel of the show. I like this episode in many ways, but that's a big one, and it's been going on the whole time even before the party started, and it's how shows like this should work.