Susan arrives down at the coma ward just as a woman is giving some guy the boot from Jane's room. The woman turns to Susan and accuses her of being one of the "organ-donor vultures." Susan clarifies that she's actually there at Ian's request. Woman, suddenly welcoming: "Oh, you're the girlfriend...come on in." Susan asks the woman, who's name is Erika (played by Amy Aquino, who I totally recognize even though she appears to only appear on a bunch of shows I don't watch), who the guy was she evicted early. Oh, that was Ted, the guy who Jane cheated on Ian with. Susan: "When was this?" Erika: "I hate to dish my best friend on her deathbed," beat, beat, "but gossip was the foundation of our relationship." Erika relocates over to the spot on the couch next to Susan and spills all the sordid details: how Ian was traveling a lot, how Jane got lonely. Ian did take Jane back afterward, but he "never trusted her again." The poignant "Ah, So That's Why Ian's Such A Controlling Dick" music swells, and it's clear that this is supposed to be a big break-through moment. But, since I'm not all that invested in this relationship -- they have so little chemistry that I keep kind of forgetting that they're dating -- I don't really care what does or doesn't make Ian tick. And since this whole scene with Jane's best friend is nothing but a scratch for an itch I don't have, it just feels kind of ham-fisted. For instance, why is Susan there at all? If Jane's best friend is covering the deathbed duties, then there's really no need for Susan to be there.
Scavoria. Lynette walks in and hands Tom her application for the manager job. She quit her job! And now she wants to join the family business, because ever since she got shot, she's wanted to spend more time with her family. Hmmm, I'm not so sure this is the greatest plan. Remember the last time they worked together? And Lynette had to eat a pound of raw bacon to protect Tom from being a whipping boy? Also I'm not sure how running a restaurant, which is a seven-days-a-week, sixteen-hour-a-day job, is going to bring her closer to her kids, but okay. (Maybe this was bitchy Kayla's plan all along? Get Lynette fired so she'd have to work at the Scavoria and never, ever come home? Evil genius!) Tom: "You do realize you're going to have to sleep with the boss." They kiss, and the deal is done.
Orson comes home to find Andrew in front of the computer. The phone rings, and Orson yells, "Alma did WHAT?!" Orson goes racing over to Alma's house, and Andrew, once the funniest person on this show, just sits there and blankly says, "Wait, what did Alma do?" Has Andrew been lobotomized? Why was he even in this scene?