Anyway. Gloria pretends not to know what Orson's talking about, but Orson doesn't believe her for a second. MA: "Yes, Orson was an expert on teeth...that's how he could tell when people were lying through them." Dun-dun-DUN! Credits.
We return to discover ourselves down at the hospital. Mary Alice is babbling something about how lives change in an instant: people's legs get shot, babies shoot out of birthing canals, old ladies' husbands die. We see a doctor comforting a whitehead who is neither The Drunk old lady, nor is she The Cat Lady old lady. She isn't even Mrs. McCluskey, which means there's another old lady in Fairview. That makes four! It's like some kind of infestation. MAVO gently guides us into coma Jane's room. We learn that she has a fever, and that her doctor is mildly concerned. Oh man, she is so totally waking up today.
Down at the Big House. Susan introduces Mike to his new lawyer. Ian is also there, looking jealous and bitter and nuts. Mike thanks Ian for his generosity, Ian glowers and then pees a big circle of ownership around Susan. Susan and Mike exchange amused glances. They all sit down and the hotshot lawyer announces that he's worked out a great strategy. Cut to...
...Susan at home with Ian, ranting about the lameness of the lawyer's plan, which is to have Mike plead guilty, seeing as the evidence against him is so compelling. That way, he would only get a ten-year sentence (five for good behavior), versus the life imprisonment that he'd be risking if he opted to plead innocent. But Susan, that old wacky idealist, wants Mike to have a lawyer who believes in his innocence! This really clangs Ian's jealousy bells, and he brats that if Susan wants to change lawyers, then she's on her own, financially speaking. I don't get it, can't they just tell their current lawyer that they refuse to plead guilty? Make him come up with a new strategy based around Mike pleading innocent? Though I guess hippie Susan wants an idealistic rainbow unicorn lawyer who truly, actually believes in Mike's innocence. Susan asks Ian to explain the source of his never-ending jealousy, and Ian avoids the question by flying to Montreal.
Lynette is trying to figure out what to wear on her first day back to work after the eight weeks of paid sick leave she got after getting shot in the arm. The non-twin boy P comes in to tell her that he's sad she's going back to work. Lynette points out that with her gone during the day, she won't be around to nag him about homework and cleaning his room. But, according to P she's actually been "a lot nicer" since the shooting, and now he misses her every second they're apart, etc. Lynette kisses him and cuddles him, then she says: "Do you really mean that, or are you manipulating Mommy into feeling incredibly guilty?" P: "A little bit of both." Lynette compliments him on being a chip off the old Tom.