The police invite Bree over to George's house so that they can (a) tell her in person that George is dead, and (b) tell her about the Bree-altar room George had in his house, which is full of all kinds of unsavory things (Bree's stolen underthings and also a life-sized Bree doll, for example). The police warn Bree that the press has been sniffing around the George story, and they advise her to give her family a heads-up. So Bree removes Andrew from deprogramming camp and tells him that George killed Rex. Andrew holds Bree responsible for Rex's death (seeing as she was the motivation for George's actions), so out of spite and/or lust, Andrew invites Justin over for some videogame playing and also sex. But before they do the sex, Andrew tells Justin all about his hatred for Bree, and his plan to unearth some juicy, life-destroying dirt on her. Soon thereafter, the always-accommodating Bree obliges Andrew's deep, dark wish by confessing that she watched George die. So now Andrew has all the ammo he needs to bring Bree down, poor Bree! Susan's bio-Papa Prudy gets busted for solicitation, so he asks his bio-daughter to come bail him out. Bio-Dad's wife spots Susan's car as she drops Papa Prudy off at home and mistakes Susan for one of his whores. So Mrs. Prudy writes down Susan's plate numbers, tracks down her address, and then spray-paints "WHORE" in foot-tall letters across Susan's garage door. Papa Prudy agrees to tell his wife the truth, but of course he doesn't, which Susan discovers when she runs into Mrs. Prudy at the market and the woman starts pelting Susan with groceries. Susan confesses her status as a bio-daughter, and Mrs. Prudy is crushed by the news, since clearly it indicates just how far back Prudy's philandering stretches. Lynette agitates to get a daycare program at work. To get enough kids to qualify, Lynette needs Boss Ed's baby to sign up, but Ed's wife, a "perfect mother," doesn't want to let her baby out of her sight. But after some Lynette-meddling, which involves pitting Ed against his wife, Lynette prevails, and the daycare is a go! Gabby donates $8000 to the church with hopes that the funds will enable Sister Mary Hotpants to go to Africa, but SMH counters by talking Carlos into going to Africa, too. When Carlos goes for his immunization shots, Gabby deliberately neglects to tell the doctor that Carlos is allergic to eggs, which are a big part of one of the shots, with hopes that the resulting allergy attack will leave Carlos too sick to leave the country. Cut to Carlos shivering and sweating in bed, and calling out Sister Mary's name, zing. Caleb Applewrong, who has gone mute since his arrest, has been placed in a nuthatch facility. Betty does her famous distracting-piano trick, which magically provides Matthew with enough cover to sneak Caleb out. (Oh and there are some weird men -- maybe bounty hunters? -- who also seem to be after Caleb. Mysterious!)
Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Previously: Caleb got arrested, Susan wanted to get to know her long-lost dad, Gabby went to war with a nun, and Bree let George OD on pills, Jack Daniels, and crazy.
MAVO: "There were many ways to tell Bree Van de Kamp was a lady." A policeman hands Bree out of the back seat of a bright blue car, and she thanks him courteously. Hey, I think that's the triple-creamy coat she wore on the weekend of antiques and reluctant sex! MAVO: "She was courteous to those around her, she moved with elegance and grace, and she was very careful to never let others know what she was thinking." Bree walks inside George's house, which is roped off with police tape and crawling with uniformed policemen. Inside, Detective Barton thanks Bree for coming in on such short notice. Bree innocently asked if they've managed to find George. Ah, so I guess she's going to play innocent? And pretend that she didn't know that George was holed up in that hotel, even though the bellman can testify that he handed her a note from George, and that she read it? Not to mention the possibility of cameras in the hallway or elevators (according to any crime show around, footage of Bree in the hotel is almost a guarantee)? She sure does like to play fast and loose with her cards! A Barton flunky informs Bree that George actually committed suicide. MAVO: "You see, like most well-bred women, Bree had something to hide." Bree delivers a somewhat half-hearted attempt at surprise, and then very graciously thanks the two policemen for telling her in person. My god, her hair is a perfection of perky, curled-up flippery.
Bree turns to leave, but Barton tells her that there's actually more to the story. Bree nervously follows Barton a little deeper into the room, and he shows her a plastic bag full of violet- and sage-colored underthings and asks her if she recognizes them. Bree, scandalized: "Those are my...panties!" Just so you all know, the word "panties" is one of my all-time least favorite words. I don't like the way it sounds (sort of whiny), I don't like the way it breaks down (pant-tease, i.e., heavy breathing + taunting), and I don't like the kind of sexitive man who tends to use it most. Nothing about it is good. Flunky Cop tells Bree that they assume that George stole the...underwear -- in fact: "Mr. Williams had a whole roomful of unsavory items." Boy, George sure does unpack fast; didn't he just move in? I guess that, when crazy people relocate, setting up the shrine room is the very first thing they attend to. Bree asks what they mean by "unsavory." Flunky: "You don't want to know." Barton advises Bree that the Daily Tribune has actually been sniffing around the story, and while the police are trying to keep a lid on things, Bree might want to inform her family about these latest unhappy developments so that they're not blindsided.
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