Desperate Housewives
Coming Home

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Coming Home

Gabby, wearing a glittery gold mini and a painful mistake of a pink sweater (it has a HUGE collar that evokes the wings of a stingray), comes home to find Sister Mary Hotpants sitting and laughing with Carlos in her living room. Gabby, obviously still riding off the high her $8000 bought, walks over and sits down with them, saying what a "lovely surprise" it is to see the Sister! SMH tells Gabby that she couldn't leave without saying goodbye, and Gabby lies about how much she's going to miss the nun. SMH, rubbing Carlos's back, tells Gabby, "I'm sure not half as much as you're going miss your husband." Uh oh. Carlos tells Gabby not to "freak out," but that he's going to Botswana! Gabby: "WHAT?!" He explains that "Sister Mary needs a companion." Gabby asks what happened to Sister Greta, and SMH explains that because the "region is so volatile," she decided she'd feel "much safer with a male companion." Gabby tries to put her foot down, but Carlos jumps up and explains that he's "only going to be gone for two months," and that the trip is very important to him because he "wants to be one of God's soldiers." Gabby gives Carlos a "what you talking about Willis" face, and then SMH jumps up and grabs Carlos's bicep, cooing that after he sees the "devastation over there," he's never going to be the same: "You see how selfish your old life is. And you just want to get rid of everything [looking over at Gabby] that reminds you of it." Carlos, for some reason, doesn't pick up on the "subtlety" of SMH's remark at all, and just keeps smiling a lobotomized smile at her. Gabby glares, and SMH giggles and then gushes that it's time for her to go and start packing. Carlos kisses Gabby's hands and tells her he has to go and write a thank-you note to his parole officer, "who's being a real mensch about this." So...his parole officer knew about this trip before his wife did? That doesn't bode well for this marriage. SMH hangs out, twiddling with the cross around her neck, as Carlos scuttles upstairs. Gabby walks over to her, gets right up in her face, and says, "I may be a Catholic, but I am so not above slapping a nun." SMH: "Go ahead. Do it! Just make sure you hit hard enough to leave a mark." Which, I guess, means that she's daring Gabby to do something provably bad to SMH -- something that will, for sure, push Carlos over the edge. Or maybe SMH is into S&M? In any case, Gabby doesn't hit the nun; she just stands there, staring at her, instead. SMH: "Yeah, I didn't think so."

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Desperate Housewives




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