Desperate Housewives
Coming Home

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Coming Home

And it's another late night for Lynette and Ed. Lynette is on the phone with Tom, telling him to kiss the kids goodnight for her. When she gets off the phone, Ed apologizes to her for the "daycare thing," offering by way of explanation that Fran doesn't even let him hold the baby: "You know, since day one all I ever got was 'Support the head! Support the head!' I think I know how to support a damn baby head." Lynette sits there for a moment, and then you can see her downshifting into Meddle Mode: "You're Mindy's father. You have a right to spend time with her." Ed sort of shrugs and makes some sounds about how there's nothing he can do. Lynette, in full battle mode, prods him to "stand up to Fran," telling him that if he doesn't, he'll just get "more resentful," and Fran will get "nuttier." And then, as the frosting on the cake, Lynette adds, "And without a father figure, poor Mindy will grow up to be a stripper." Ed, all panicky: "A stripper?!" Lynette: "There's science to back that up." Lynette sits there, looking nervous (and not at all unlike Beaker from The Muppet Show), and clearly she's thinking maybe she's pushed it too far this time? But then Ed turns a corner, and he confidently tells Lynette to go ahead with the daycare thing, and to "count Mindy in!" He leans back in his chair and says, "I'll handle Fran," and Lynette nods and tells him he's doing the right thing -- you know, "for Little Mindy."

Justin and Andrew sit flank to flank on Andrew's bed, playing a punch-'em-up video game. Justin is looking good in a sleeveless tee (holy Toledo, nice arms!), but his hair is looking very strange, like maybe he was shooting for Wolverine in X Men, but the whole look fell short somehow and he wound up with something more along the lines of Grumpy Badger. And yet...nice arms! Justin is clearly enjoying the game, he's just cackling away, when Andrew turns and gives him a very, very come-hither look, and then he leeeeeeeeeeeans over like he's going to kiss him. Justin turns and says, "Dude! What if your mom walks in?" Andrew, his face three inches away from Justin's, tells Justin that she won't. Justin looks tempted, but tells Andrew that they should "just wait till everybody's asleep," and then he promises Andrew that he'll make it worth his while. Andrew licks his lips and then tells Justin "he better," and then Andrew settles back into playing the videogame.

They play for a few seconds, and then Andrew smiles his sideways smile and says that he actually wishes Bree would walk in on them. Justin shoots him an "are you crazy" kind of look, but Andrew says how great it would be to see the "expression on her face": "God, I hate her so much." The way he says this feels kind of stagy, and I can't quite tell if it's because the scene is (a) awkwardly written, (b) awkwardly acted, or (c) evidence that Andrew is putting on a show for Justin so that he can use him for his own nefarious purposes. Justin: "Still, though. She's your mother. Don't you sort of have to love her?" Andrew tells Justin how, when Bree found out that Andrew "liked guys," she told him that if he didn't change, he was going straight (no pun intended) to hell: "So since I knew that I couldn't change, it suddenly hit me that, one day, my own mother was going to stop loving me, so I decided to stop loving her first. That way, it wouldn't hurt so bad." Which sounds a little too self-aware...I would have believed him more if he'd just stuck to "I hate my mom," like almost every other teenager out there, and left the underlying subtext unexplored. Justin tells Andrew that, clearly, Bree didn't know what she was saying. Andrew, shrugging: "Yes, she did. So now she's got to be punished." Justin laughs a little bit, and then asks Andrew what his plan is. Andrew: "One day, she'll slip up, and I'll have something against her. And when that happens, I'm going to take her down so hard, she'll never get back up." Justin says that may take a while, because really, Bree does seem like one of the people least likely to slip up. (At least, that was true of Season 1 Bree, which is all Justin probably knows about). Andrew gives Justin a very innuendo-heavy once-over, and says, "That's okay. I don't mind waiting for the things I want." He and Justin stare at each other for a few seconds, and Justin's eyes flicker down to Andrew's lips, and my body starts to tense into its usual "first kiss" cringe, and...scene! Oh, except right before the scene ends, we see a giant getting felled by a dozen arrows on the videogame screen. Symbolic for how Bree's totally going down? Perhaps. Perhaps. Perhaps. All in all, a pretty steamy scene! Seriously, my pants are now wrinkle-free.

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Desperate Housewives

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