Desperate Housewives
Coming Home

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Evany: B- | Grade It Now!
Coming Home

CreePaul walks up the stairs to Mike's house, and before he even gets a chance to knock, Mike opens the door. Ha ha! Mike really is living in his foyer. Boy, he really has nothing better to do, does he? He needs a plot of his own, and stat. CreePaul informs him that Zana is home. Oh right, Zana! That seems like years ago. Mike asks if there's anything he can do. (How good are you with scissors, Mike? Because I think Zana could use a haircut.) CreePaul tells Mike that he can do one thing for them: he can leave them alone! Mike: "I spent a lot of time looking for [Zana]. And you know why." CreePaul says that if Mike comes near Zana, the police are going to find out what happened in "that quarry." Mike: "You do that, and we'll both go down." CreePaul: "Well, you know I'm capable of almost anything." CreePaul turns to go, but then he stops to drop this little bomb: he and Zana are moving away! CreePaul wants to give Zana a "shot at a normal life." Mike: "Now, this is where you and I don't see eye to eye. For [Zana]'s sake, I'll keep quiet. For now. But you're not taking him away. If I see a 'For Sale' sign in front of that house, I'll call the police. I'm capable of pretty much anything myself." He and CreePaul stare at each other for about seven years, and then, slowly, CreePaul walks away. Was that supposed to be menacing? Because both their threats seemed pretty anemic.

At the hospital, Gabby sits with Carlos as he waits to get his Africa immunization shots. Gabby thumbs through an Enquirer-type rag and says, "Boy, Sister Mary's done a number on you." Carlos, clearly bored, like this is maybe Hour 14 of Gabby's haranguing, sighs, "Riiiiiiight." Gabby slaps down her magazine and yells, "Yes, 'right'! She has you flying halfway across the world to help the poor. And there's perfectly good poor right here. For god's sake. Give a buck to a homeless guy!" And, again, I say: it just isn't like Gabby to be so off-the-mark with her tactics of persuasion. How about you feign some residual sadness over the miscarriage, Gab? That might do it; at the least, it would work better than continuously reminding Carlos of how shallow you are! Carlos explains to Gabby that giving a homeless man a dollar is not the same as going to Africa to help the poor. Gabby: "No, it's better, because you can do it from the comfort of your own car." Carlos: "The point is not to be comfortable, Gabby. It's about easing pain and suffering. Look, I'm trying to be a better person, here. Now, you can either help me, or you can get out of the way, but you can't stop me." They fume at each other for a second, and then the nurse calls Carlos in for his shots. He hands Gabby his paperwork, commanding her to finish it for him. Gabby scoffs, and then walks the unfinished paperwork over to the nurse's desk. The nurse points out that the allergy section is blank. Gabby: "Honey, he's going to a remote village in Africa. Does it really matter that he's allergic to eggs?" Nurse: "Actually, yes...Eggs are on the list. He could have a severe reaction to the yellow fever vaccine, and he won't be getting out of bed, let alone leaving the country." Gabby's wheels start to turn, and when the nurse goes to check the "eggs" box, Gabby stops her, explaining that Carlos is actually allergic to fish eggs: "Poor baby's gone his whole life without caviar! Now that's suffering."

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Desperate Housewives




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