Everyone's making connections this week, and it's (mostly) all for the better. Bree has a big ol' fight with Alex, who tells her exactly what we've all been thinking: That's she's mean and cold and emasculating her husband. She gets snippy about it, but comes around to realize he's right -- and that she needs someone like him calling her out on it so she doesn't get even worse. Meanwhile, Edie tells everyone she left Creepy Dave and they respond by ... talking to Susan about her plans to move in with Jackson. Then Edie and Susan end up locked in a basement, and they sort of bond: They insult each other, Edie spills her childhood stories, then slaps Susan. I said sort of. But they both learn from it, because next thing we know Susan makes a mysterious call to Jackson and then sits on her porch alone, while Edie takes Creepy Dave back. In the interim, though, Creepy Dave stays with Mike and bonds with him. He learns that Mike is falling in love with Katherine, and that she is thinking of moving to Baltimore. So Creepy Dave gets Katherine some flowers to keep her close, apparently making her the "Mike has to lose what I lost" target instead of Susan.
In storylines that seem to somehow matter less, Lynette finds Porter by faking a car accident, his case is quickly thrown out off-screen, and then Lynette and Stella have a heart to heart that leads to twice-weekly get-togethers for the mother and daughter. And Carlos goes back to work, leaving Gaby at home with her brats. They won't listen to anything she says, so she'd like Carlos to please yell at them. He says this is what she wanted: him unhappy at work and her at home with screaming kids. He does seem to cave and tells them to listen to their mom by the end of the episode. But nothing is happy in the Solis household, despite him listening to her. Theirs is the only story that didn't feel like they were connecting, but more like the connection they used to have is beginning to unravel.
Previously: Lynette talked to Porter on the phone, but didn't know where he was. Katherine and Mike got together, while Edie left Creepy Dave for being married. Creepy Dave told his wife and daughter's tombstones that he would make Mike pay by making him feel what he lost. Oooh, ominous.
Mary Alice tells us it's been a long journey for Dave, but he can still remember the whole thing: Walking outside his front door to get the news of the car crash. Running into the hospital to find out his wife and daughter had died. Being dragged into a psych ward after his mental breakdown. Strolling into a hotel weeks after his release and bumping into a beautiful blonde (Edie). Marching down the aisle -- or, rather, a courthouse hall -- with that woman, who happened to be from Wisteria Lane. But now said bride has kicked him out and he's still walking down the street. He doesn't know how he'll follow through on his plan, until Mike comes out to talk to him. He tells Mike Edie kicked him out, and it's probably for good. Mike feels bad for him, and invites him to stay with him. He says Creepy Dave saved his life, so this is the least he can do. Creepy Dave has to agree with that. Mary Alice: "And, just like that, Dave's dream of revenge had been salvaged. And he started to feel his long journey would soon be over." I just have to say: I think Mary Alice is way too impartial in all of this. I feel like it's about time she took sides on something instead of narrating like she doesn't care about anyone involved.
At 9:02 the next morning, Edie calls her friends to tell them something happened. They all (Susan, Gaby, Bree, Lynette) show up by 9:06 to get the details. Wait ... these are all of Edie's friends? Poor Edie. With friends like these, who needs a creepy, psychotic husband? Edie's sniffling into a tissue as Susan says you don't kick a man out for being previously married. Edie points out it's the not mentioning it that makes it a problem. Bree says maybe he was with his previous wife only a short time, and she meant nothing to him. Edie doubts it since he walks around talking to her ghost. Gaby suggests a spa weekend, but Edie would rather get lost in her work. Susan manages to turn the conversation back to her by saying she might be able to help Edie by letting her find a renter for her house, since she's probably moving in with Jackson in Riverton. Gaby, Bree, and Lynette all think this is a great idea, because they think Jackson's great. And also because they want her to leave (they don't say that, but I know it's true, because no one would want to live with someone like Susan, all fake sweet but really narcissistic and selfish). They all make it about Susan, and gather her in a group hug as Edie looks on, baffled that they're all completely over her juicy news.