Desperate Housewives
Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
Evany: A- | 799 USERS: C+
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Could I Leave You?

Down at the Got Milk (But Wish We Didn't) agency, everyone's hunkered down in a meeting when Donovan walks right in and tells Veronica that he's "thirsty." Why is he wandering around the office? I don't know. Maybe it's the afternoon, so he's out of school, and he somehow escaped from daycare? Veronica apologizes that "this'll just take a sec," and then she steers Donovan out of the conference room, and everyone at the table quietly barfs in their mouths. Ed: "Is it just me or is [Veronica's breastfeeding a five-year-old] bizarre?" One of the guys at the table agrees, and then everyone puts down their bagels in synchronized comedic revulsion. Ed says that they need to put a stop to it, but Lynette reminds him that they can't lose Veronica, and that if they put a stop to the freaky breastfeeding, the woman will walk. Ed argues that it's a "distraction," plus "god forbid if a client sees her." Okay then, who's going to tell her? Why, Lynette, of course! Ed: "You're a woman. It's easier for you to talk about milk and boobs and stuff." Lynnette tries to fight it, but then one of the other guys at the table (and they're all guys) announces, "I made a pass at her yesterday; it'd be weird." Ha! Ed: "Come on, Lynette, take one for the team!" Lynette finally agrees. "But for the record," she informs them, "the 'team' is made up of wimps." Ed: "Oh, well, the team's aware of that. And accepts your loathing." And ha again! Who would have guessed that the barely topical "inappropriate breastfeeding" storyline would be the funniest of the episode? Or maybe this is actually a hot issue. It's been a while since I've been trapped in a corporate job (like fifteen years?), so maybe they're throwing breast milk ice cream parties in the break room these days, what do I know.

Cut to Gabby pouring a tall, tall glass of milk. Ooh! I'm very supportive of the topical crossovers this week (even though I'm having trouble imagining Gabby chugging milk by the glassful). Carlos is on the phone. Apparently, Serpent Tongue Libby has passed on the Solises as parents because she's big racist and doesn't want her baby going to Mexicans. Gabby: "WHAT! That's discrimination! That's illegal! We can have her arrested!" Carlos, with a sigh: "It's her baby; she can do whatever the hell she wants to." But Gabby isn't going to take this lying down: "No! You don't just toss people aside because of the color of their skin." Carlos: "We tossed those birth mothers aside because of their appearance." Nice! But that's different. Gabby: "I've read the constitution, and it doesn't protect ugly people." Carlos thinks they should just move on, but Gabby's wind is UP: "I want that woman's baby, and I'm going to get it." Her strategy? She's going to show Libby their tax records: "I have a feeling that once she sees how much money we have, I have a hunch we're going to look a whole lot whiter." Aww! I think I remember a similar "Mommy v. Would-be Mommy" scene in March of the Penguins!

Desperate Housewives

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