Desperate Housewives
Could I Leave You?

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Could I Leave You?

Lynette and Veronica tour the play space, and Veronica (I'm going to stop mentioning her breasts now, but only to save my typing fingers...because rest assured, those things remain shockingly prominent throughout the entire episode) is totally impressed. In fact, she seems almost ready to sign on, except: will the people in this office be cool about her breastfeeding Donovan? Lynette assures her that "Parcher and Murphy is completely mother-friendly. No one would say a word." And that seals the deal: Veronica's on board! Just then, the Scavo Ps up-end an entire table full of toys and art supplies, and a scandalized Veronica asks whose kids those are. Lynette: "I have absolutely no idea." Huh. I wonder if that lie will ever become apparent?

Down at TG Sleazy's, Gabby and Carlos are thumbing through profiles of different mothers, and they're all totally hideous! Gabby is sad. Gabby is frustrated. Didn't she make it clear, no fuggers? TG Sleazy: "Look, finding a gorgeous pregnant woman who's willing to give her baby to a couple with a criminal record isn't exactly a walk in the park." Well, sure. Gabby tuff-talks that she doesn't "care if it's a walk in the sewer." Either way, she "expect[s] results" regarding all the money they're forking over. TG Sleazy gives Gabs a word of advice about catching flies with honey v. vinegar, and she parries that if she really wanted flies, she'd call up one of the ugly pregnant women, because I guess flies love ugly? Or something? Whatever: Gabby is sassy mad. Carlos is defeated and disgusted. TG Sleazy's secretary intercoms that there's a woman here to see them. TG stands and tells the Solises that he "took the liberty" of inviting this woman down to meet them. She may not be a "quality human being," but she's at least good-looking. And if Carlos and Gabby don't like this one, TG is out of ideas. And with that, he throws his pencil into a cup on his desk, and the camera lingers there in a weirdly important way. Will this pencil feature prominently in some future murder investigation? Or is it some kind of sexual metaphor? Whatever it is, it's going to be BIG. In walks the pregnant "Libby," and she's blonde and cute (kind of like a poor-man's Bridget Fonda). Gabby, leaning in to Carlos: "Now this, I can work with."

After a commercial break to let that sink in, we return to the adoption office. Libby is explaining that she's in debt, she doesn't know who the father is, and she's a pole dancer at a strip club, but she "really wants to be a choreographer": in fact, she "made up this one move, called the Serpent's Tongue? And all the girls at the club are doing it now." Carlos rather pervily volunteers that he and Gabby will have to come down to the club and get an eyeful of Serpent's Tongue, and Gabby is all, yeah right. After some more small talk (Libby hopes they don't think she's a slut; Gabby scoffs), Carlos says they've heard enough: they'd be happy to adopt Libby's baby! But then Libby makes some noise about money, which freaks out Sleazy; buying babies is illegal, he hastens to clarify. Libby can, of course, make a list of her expenses, which the Solises will pick up. And yet, Libby wonders aloud, a friend of hers gave up her baby, and the couple gave that woman a Harley. Carlos chuckles that he might not be able to afford a Harley, but he's sure they "can find some way to express [their] gratitude." Libby nods, but her eyes zero in on Gabby's gigantic diamond ring and Carlos's watch (which I'm guessing is spendy). And the piquant plucking of "get ready to pay and pay (and pay)" violins swells! Libby gets up to leave, and they all exchange goodbyes. Gabby corrects Libby on her pronunciation of "Solis," and it comes out that Gabby and Carlos are of Mexican decent, and not Italian as Libby had thought (and clearly hoped). More with the ominous violin-ing!

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Desperate Housewives

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