Desperate Housewives
Could I Leave You?

Episode Report Card
Evany: B+ | 3 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Could I Leave You?

Cut to Gabby pouring a tall, tall glass of milk. Ooh! I'm very supportive of the topical crossovers this week (even though I'm having trouble imagining Gabby chugging milk by the glassful). Carlos is on the phone. Apparently, Serpent Tongue Libby has passed on the Solises as parents because she's big racist and doesn't want her baby going to Mexicans. Gabby: "WHAT! That's discrimination! That's illegal! We can have her arrested!" Carlos, with a sigh: "It's her baby; she can do whatever the hell she wants to." But Gabby isn't going to take this lying down: "No! You don't just toss people aside because of the color of their skin." Carlos: "We tossed those birth mothers aside because of their appearance." Nice! But that's different. Gabby: "I've read the constitution, and it doesn't protect ugly people." Carlos thinks they should just move on, but Gabby's wind is UP: "I want that woman's baby, and I'm going to get it." Her strategy? She's going to show Libby their tax records: "I have a feeling that once she sees how much money we have, I have a hunch we're going to look a whole lot whiter." Aww! I think I remember a similar "Mommy v. Would-be Mommy" scene in March of the Penguins!

Speaking of Mommy v. Mommy, it's confrontation time down at the dairy. Lynette approaches the topic of Veronica's breastfeeding issue as delicately as possible, starting with some polite comments about what a big, big boy Donovan is. But things turn uncomfortable fast. Veronica asks Lynette what she's driving at, and Lynette is forced to confess that the people around the office are a little thrown by the fact that her son is still breastfeeding at the age of five. At which point Veronica steps up to an invisible podium and starts lecturing Lynette about how breast milk boosts a kid's immune system, and that some third-world cultures breastfeed their babies until the age of six. Lynette, going for jokey-friendly: "Yeah, well, in the third world they don't have juice boxes." But Veronica's not laughing. She tells Lynette that it's up to Donovan to decide. Lynette says that baby birds need to be nudged out of the nest. Veronica counters that the practice has been linked to promoting intelligence in children, adding, "Maybe if you'd weaned your kids a bit later, they'd be more civilized." Lynette, not at all smiling now: "Ouch." Veronica: "I will not be judged by you or anyone else, and if people don't like my breastfeeding, they can talk to my lawyer."

Ron, Susan, and Karl are having a yuk-fest of a dinner together. Karl is telling some hilarious story about their divorce. Ron is eating it up, and Susan is smiling indulgently. Ron and Karl get up to do the dishes, but Ron leans in for some nuzzle-time with Susan first; Karl glances back and clearly he does not at all like what he sees. In the kitchen, Karl notices Mike drive up at his house across the street. And a look of evil Grinch genius spreads across Karl's face. He opens the cupboard under the sink and loosens a pipe until water starts to spray. Then he closes the doors and busies himself with something in the refrigerator. Ron finally comes in with the plates and notices the pool of water. Karl yells at Ron that there's a plumber living across the street by the name of "Delfino," and Ron goes trotting off to fetch him. (For some reason, I would have thought a budding surgeon would be innately good enough with his hands to want to try to fix the thing himself, but maybe his hands are too precious a commodity?)

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Desperate Housewives

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