Desperate Housewives

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Manners Are For Poor People. And Non-Felons.

In the kitchen, Bree demands that Orson return the recorder. He denies knowing what she's talking about, and we hear Bruce start to wonder aloud where the recorder went to. Tom enters the kitchen to look for the recorder and finds Bree with her hand shoved down Orson's front pocket as she frisks him for the recorder. Tom backs slowly out of the room, and Bree brings the recorder to Bruce.

Gabby walks up her steps to the front door, and is startled when LB says her name. He's sitting ominously on the porch. He's there because the Hair Ho told him about Gabby's little Hair Sluttery confrontation. Gabby tells him that she's sick of enabling his adultery. He claims that her morality only lasts until he throws some money at her; she tells him that he's right, and that from now on he should keep his money, because she's not going to cover up his affair. LB says that it's not just an affair -- he actually loves the Hair Ho. Gabby tells him that if he doesn't man up and tell Mrs. LB, she'll do it for him. He tells her that he will, and that she should tell Carlos to bring a box to work on Monday. Is it Bring Your Box to Work Day already? Oh, actually, it's because Carlos is fired.

Scavo residence. In a darkened kitchen, Tom and Lynette apologize for the horrible things they said to each other. And it's an actual apology, as they're able to laugh at their own insanity and at Bruce's stupidity. Tom asks if Lynette really wanted to go back to work. She tells him that she'd like another shot at the brass ring. Tom tells her, "We did my thing for seven years. Now it's your turn."

Casa Hodge. Orson takes off his shoes (which he probably stole from someone who cut in line at Starbucks). Bree enters the bedroom and chastises him for very nearly embarrassing her with his little theft. Orson think that Bruce deserved it, since he insulted Orson. Bree, voice of reason and self-assertiveness, tells him that the correct response to being insulted is to say something to the jerk, not to steal his tape recorder. Orson claims not to know why he's been stealing things, but that he thinks it has something to with the fact that nobody respects him since he lost his dental practice. Bree doesn't care about the motive -- she just tells him that it had better never happen again. She storms out, leaving her earrings on the dresser. Orson eyes them like a neurotic gay magpie and slips one into his pocket.

Church. Edie has sat through Mass; God really must be in the tub, because I don't see any sign of a lightning strike. As everyone leaves, Edie approaches the priest (the same one who recognized Dave). Edie tells the priest that Dave refuses to talk about his past, and that she's hoping the priest can shed some light on it for her. The priest refuses to help her, which makes me wonder if maybe what he knows about Dave he learned in the confessional. But as he leaves, he calls her "Mrs. Dash." She corrects him, telling him that her last name is "Williams." He apologizes for assuming that she would have taken Dave's name. Commercials.

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Desperate Housewives

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