Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A- | 708 USERS: C+
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Distant Past

Nighttime on Wisteria Lane. Out on the sidewalk, Orson is giving Mike a lecture about pain medication not being a permanent solution, and Mike again gives his song and dance to the effect that what he really needs is time off that he can't financially afford to take. Orson wonders if Mike is okay, and Mike says that it's not all Susan's fault; he's still having pain from his hit-and-run. Orson asks whether this is really about Mike's accident, and Mike objects to the word: "Some son-of-a-bitch ran me down and took off," he says The son-of-a-bitch in question suddenly loses all his qualms about the scrip, and hands it over with no more questions asked.

Mike goes inside to find Susan already asleep in bed. She blearily tells him about Barrett's visit, and Mike gets real tense in a real hurry. He heads into the bathroom and turns on the water, so he doesn't hear Susan say Barrett will be back tomorrow, let alone the question, "Don't you think he'd be perfect for Julie?" From the bathroom, Mike leaves a message for Barrett telling him never to come back to his house.

Edie drops her paper with its giant "MAYOR MISSING" banner headline, and decides to call in an anonymous tip that she thinks he's not missing, but dead. The scene ends before we see her telling the police that she and Victor use the same crabs shampoo.

Carlos and Gabby are having another talk at her house; and he's not on board with the plan anymore, since the suspicious cops will start thinking about who has a motive to kill Victor. "Number one: you. Number two: you. Number three: maybe me, but probably still you." Gabby agrees to go to the cops, but insists on a drink first. Because Carlos is an idiot, he agrees. How is it that I know that Gabby is going to drop tranquilizers in his drink and he doesn't?

Susan happily watches Barrett and Julie chatting in the living room, and goes back into the kitchen to plate up some store-bought brownies. Mike finds her in there looking happy, but he's not nearly as happy when he finds out that Barrett's in the house, hanging with Julie. He plays it semi-cool, going into the living room and asking Julie for a minute with Barrett. He throws Barrett the money he owes him and tells him to get out, but Barrett actually digs Julie, and plans to take her on a date. When Mike objects to his stepdaughter going out with a "low-life drug dealer," Barrett and his argyle sweater remind Mike that Barrett is a pre-med student, while Mike is an addict, and that Mike probably doesn't want his "cute family" aware of the latter fact. "I'll have her home by ten," Barrett smugs, and heads into the kitchen.

Desperate Housewives

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