Desperate Housewives
Don't Look At Me

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Don't Look At Me

Dentist Orson rings the door at Susan's; she left her wallet behind while beating her shame-hastened retreat from the theater. He charmingly (yet not without a lingering hint of hidden darkness?) tells her he slipped his card inside the wallet, on the off chance she might some day want to sit next to him in a movie theater on purpose. Susan coos how flattered she is, but she waves him off, claiming that her "love life is so complicated right now" that he truly wouldn't want to get involved. More to the point, what about the other woman he was dating? Susan: "Well, I won't bore you with the details."

Cut to Orson and Susan, sitting at her table, sipping tea. Orson is summarizing all he's learned so far: "So the ex-boyfriend has no idea that you're secretly married to the ex-husband, who still loves you, but, unless you give him a reason not to, is going to marry the neighborhood slut." Well, when you put it that way, Susan sounds like kind of a mess. Susan clarifies that by "slut," what she actually meant was that Edie is "popular with...indiscriminate men." Then she does a long preamble of babble about how, seeing as she can tell Orson anything since she'll probably never see him again, and so on and so on and so on, she can safely reveal this unpleasant fact: she actually still has feelings for Karl. Way! Orson asks whether she wants his "unvarnished opinion," and indeed she does. He tells her that she's a "sucker": "This Karl's a coward. He wants you to be the heavy, and take all the responsibility. If you're having feelings for a guy like that, I say run." You tell her, Orson. He gets up to leave, but first he tells her, "If you're still interested in a 'tooth whitening,' my card is in your wallet." And maybe that's all he's offering, literally just his services as a dental pro, but the way he eyes her as he leaves, it makes me think (or maybe just hope) that we haven't seen the last of Kyle on Wisteria Lane. Though, how big an idiot could a man be, to still be interested in Susan after listening to her whole crazy love saga? Mork Calling Orson, Come in, Orson?

Gabby's running late to meet Bree for lunch, so she races down the stairs, still wiggling her earrings into place, and calls out to Money that she's leaving, and that she'll be back in a little while. Without bothering to get a visual on Xiao Mei, Gabby takes off. Hmm, methinks this will end in tears. The fat, wet tears of an oversized infant left unattended!

Down at the restaurant, Bree's already seated, and she's wearing the same blue and grey outfit from before. Gabby flutters into her seat, and apologizes for being late. Then they make chitchat for a few minutes until Bree conveniently works in a reference to Gabby's maid, who apparently Bree just left at the spa. After a few seconds of confusion, Gabby pieces it together: today is the day of Money's all-day spa treatment, meaning Gabby has left her baby at home, completely unattended!

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Desperate Housewives

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