Desperate Housewives

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DeAnn Welker: B- | Grade It Now!
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Signs, Signs...
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously: Deb called Gaby a bad mother. Lynette got a promotion and didn't tell Carlos she's pregnant. Susan shot Katherine with the Bolens' gun that's under their "real" name, whatever that is. So Angie convinced Katherine to take the high road to win Mike back.

Mary Alice begins that Bree Hodge has a problem: She didn't want to fall in love with Karl. She's appalled by his table manners (we watch her watch him messily eat), his personal ethics (he parks in a handicapped space), and his wandering eye (he stares at a waitress's boobs while he's out to lunch with Bree). Every transgression elicits a gawk from Bree, followed by a "What?" from him. Bree didn't want to fall for Karl Meyer, says Mary Alice, but she knew she was starting to, so she knew the time had come to leave. Bree approaches Karl, who asks what's with the serious face; is she dumping him? She sits down and says, "Karl." He realizes she actually is dumping him. She says they both know it won't last forever, so they should end it now before someone gets hurt. He protests that they're getting closer and she says that's the problem. She thought that her disdain for his vulgarity and lack of scruples would keep her from falling for him, but against all reason, it's happening. She doesn't want to fall for a man she's not even sure she likes. Karl, hurt, is like, "I'm glad no one's going to get hurt." Karl agrees to be done, but has a present for her. He pulls out a jewelry case, and she opens it to see a brooch inscribed "To my dear and beloved Irene." He says that's his grandmother, who willed it to him since she had no granddaughters. She told him he'd find the perfect woman to give it to someday and now he has. Bree looks touched, as Karl goes on that he didn't plan on falling for her, either, and he doesn't blame her for wanting out. But, for what it's worth, he loves her. Mary Alice says that, in that moment, Bree knew the time to leave Karl had come. She kisses him. And gone. Title card.

Mary Alice Voiceover continues: Ann Peterson was the principal of Fairview elementary, and she believed in rules. We see Mrs. Peterson in her office followed by signs. She used them to teach hygiene (sign: "Brush your teeth every day). To control behavior ("Chewing gum is not allowed.") And to instill order ("No running in the hallway.") Yes, Mrs. Peterson believed in rules (we see Mrs. Peterson standing next to a "No cell phones allowed in auditorium" sign). She also believed that those who didn't follow them should be punished. She takes a grown man's cell phone away and then we see Gaby and Carlos sitting in front of said man. Carlos holds a video camera up and asks Gaby if there's anything she'd like to say before Juanita performs. Gaby: "Let us pray." He tells her Juanita's going to see this, but she assures him this isn't footage he's going to want to share. She knows because she's tried working with Juanita on this performance, but Juanita's "talent-free." Carlos says she's only seven; "How bad can she be?" Oh, Carlos, haven't you ever watched TV? You never ask questions like that. Gaby's already chosen a child from the program to pretend is theirs: Paige Glover. Carlos looks horrified at her. The pageant beings with a little boy pilgrim saying he's Miles Standish. Then pilgrim Juanita steps forward and says her line pretty well, until she flubs "religious persecution" and instead says, "religious perskacootion." She smiles sweetly, but everyone laughs. Carlos wonders which one is Paige Glover. Juanita tries again: "religious perspacaution." Gaby whispers that she wrote it on the back of the corn Juanita's holding, so Juanita looks and then: "perska... prossa... oh..." Mary Alice jumps back in and tells us that Juanita said a choice four-letter word at that moment. Everyone in the auditorium gasps. Gaby says she didn't write that on the corn, then puts on sunglasses and hunkers down.

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Desperate Housewives

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