Rotary rotisserie. S&P compliments Gabby on the dress she's wearing, which is, of course, one of her haul from the Ex's closet. The dress itself is mildly cute -- it's a lime green strapless sheath with turquoise piping -- but it doesn't exactly look couture to me... more like a really great find at Ross. S&P offers to reimburse Gabby for the cost of the dress, but she quips HILARIOUSLY that it was actually a total "steal." She heads off to the bathroom to "powder her nose" (FBI, those are actual quote quotes, and not sarcastic "by which I mean snort cocaine" quotes), and just guess who she runs into. GUESS! That's right: S&P's Ex, who of course immediately recognizes the one-of-a-kind dress. Apparently it, too, is made by the elusive "Andari." Same-Size Ex threatens Gabby with a pepper-spray-down (aw, no sexy bathroom cat brawl?), and Gabby is forced to strip down to her baby-blue bra and lacy boy-brief panties. What, again? It's so weird how that keeps happening to Gabby on this show.
Outside, Same-Size Ex goes out and shows S&P the dress, and then fells him with one mighty bitch punch.
S&P Victor arrives to rescue Gabby in the bathroom. Through the door, she yells that she has a "funny story" about meeting his Ex. "Yeah," he yells, "she brought me up to speed!" The line is timed perfectly with Gabby opening the door to find S&P, standing there holding an ice pack to his eye, earning a half-ha from yours truly. S&P hands Gabby his coat, and the Desperate "What the Hell Else Did You Think Would Happen, Gabby?" music swells.
Travers and Carlos are sitting on Edie's living room floor, gluing the model plane together as Edie -- sipping wine and wearing a very hott dress, her hair tucked back into a loose fuck-me twist -- hovers overhead, sucking up all those glue fumes but good. Edie tick-tocks that it's time for Travers to hit the hay, and Carlos volunteers to take the kid upstairs. While he's busy tucking Travers in upstairs (literally!), Edie busts a wing flap off the plane. When Carlos returns, Edie damsels about the broken plane, and Carlos gamely offers to fix it. But as soon as he gets started, Edie starts rubbing herself all up him. Weirdly enough, he pushes her away, saying that he's actually looking for a woman he can have a future with, not someone whose house is a revolving man door, and not someone who'd use her own son as "sex bait." Oh really, Carlos? Is that why you were trolling the worldwides for quality women like crzydncr206? And if that really is what you're looking for, didn't Edie's long haul with Karl adequately demonstrate her ability to settle down? Or maybe Edie's really, really been slutting it up as of late, but the camera's been too busy with Bree's storyline for us to see it? Is possible. Edie, offended by the "sex bait" comment, shows Carlos the serious hand, and then the serious door.













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