Desperate Housewives
Desperate Housewives

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Evany: B- | 553 USERS: C+
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It's Getting Hot In Herre

It's actually kind of an emotional scene -- with each piece of clothing she takes off, she points out what, exactly, it was hiding and how real a woman it makes her: her drawers hide her C-section scar, her bra "holds [her] breasts a little higher than they are on their own these days" (ha, I'm so sure; whatever Nicollette's hoisting around these days is still riding higher than the junk of half the twenty-year-olds out there). Once she's stark raving naked, she says, "This is it! Hi Carlos, I'm Edie. I might not be the woman you thought I was under all of that, but I'm real, and I'm here, and I'm asking for a chance." Does that sound cringy to you? Especially that "Hi Carlos, I'm Edie" part? Well, rest assured it's about four times cringier in the flesh. That said, Nicollette does do a pretty good job with it, though it feels very much like a Scene From An Acting Class (so good for the reel!). Nonetheless, Carlos envelops her in a big man hug and starts stroking her hair. (They're totally going to do it! And by "do it," I mean "play hide the penis in the vagina") Hmm. Edie sure sounded sincere, and what I saw of her nakedness sure looked sincere, but I can't quite shake the idea that, for a woman who was eyeing her sixty-something gardener within the past Earth week, Edie's downshifted into Relationship-Getting Mode awfully fast. Edie is a man-getting machine, right? So maybe this soul-baring, and crazy cooter-baring, scene was just another feature of her ensnaring software. Also, what about Edie swooping in on Gabby's ex-husband (usually a no-no among friends)? I guess I wouldn't put that past Edie, either. But going for a guy who's also the roommate of the man she supposedly loved (Mike) but then dropped like a hot tomato the second he ran into legal troubles? That's a lot of uncomfortable for one hookup. Just imagine Mike's surprise if he strolled into his living room at just this moment. Actually, never mind: his expression probably wouldn't even shift from its default fave: Rocky Constipation (also a new flavor from Ben and Jerry's!).

Desperate Housewives

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