Desperate Housewives
Dress Big

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It's Getting Hot In Herre

Scavoria. Lynette comes across a bunch of the wait staff sitting around on break and takes the opportunity to incite some employee discord about the dumb tee issue. Seriously, could this plotline be any more inane? Didn't we already resolve the work-related power struggles between Lynette and Tom over the last couple of episodes? It just feels like we're starting all over again with this plotline, without any acknowledgement of the progress made so far, which is fantastically frustrating. Worse still, it isn't even entertaining -- this storyline feels like work to me. And of course Lynette's plan to get the employees on her side backfires: no one besides Lynette seems to have any issues with the tees, and talk quickly spirals on to other complaints (they want to stop pooling their tips, they want health care, they want a pitcher not a belly itcher, etc.). Then, when one of the curvier employees even goes so far as to say she likes the uniform, Lynette tells her that she overheard a customer saying that Curvy looks like a Halloween pumpkin. Aaaand I'm back to hating Lynette. I realize that Lynette has just as much riding on the success of this restaurant as Tom does (i.e., their pooled life savings), and she certainly has the right to co-run things with him. But she has acknowledged on numerous occasions that he is the boss and that she is willing and happy to report and defer to him. If she wants to renegotiate those terms, she should talk to Tom directly like a grown adult woman, versus sidewinding the employees into a divisive, idiotic tee-party revolution. Oh, and speaking as someone who at different times has been forced to wear a brown and orange polyester pantsuit (as a movie theater usher) and a red bowtie and flair buttons (as a waitress at Red Robin's), I happen to think the "Scavo's" tee is totally fine as is. Just fine!

So Tom walks in and catches the tail end of Lynette's mutinous speech to the employees. This, of course, prompts a big hissing fit of a fight. (Here's a sample: "It's just a uniform. Why can't you wear it?" Oh my god, exactly. Lynette: "Because I need to win one, Tom!" Oh god. Lynette is an infant. Aren't there child-brain labor laws in place to protect us from this?) In conclusion: Lynette walks off the job in a huff. Don't let the door hit you where the lord split you, Lynette!

And speaking of idiocy: here comes Gabby! Wearing a strange housecoat confusingly accented with a wide shiny red belt, she knocks on S&P's door (clearly foreknowing that he's not going to be home), and the maid answers. Gabby babbles something about how she had too many iced teas at lunch and needs to use the bathroom, then pushes past the maid and runs upstairs to the Magic Closet. After pausing momentarily to take in the wonder of it all, she starts putting on dresses, putting on dresses, putting on dresses, just one on top of the other. Looking like the Michelin Man with her coat belted over all the layers (ah, so that's why), she waddles out to her car, telling the maid she feels "ten pounds lighter." And the spicy "Oh Gabby, you wit" music trills.

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Desperate Housewives

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