Desperate Housewives

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DeAnn Welker: A | Grade It Now!
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It's All Their Fault

Awhile later, Eddie shows up at Susan's with an art portfolio and coffee drinks and treats. He's finished the classes and wants to show her his work, but she comes down the stairs in a wedding dress. He's actually confused: "Why are you wearing that?" She tells him she's marrying Mike, and Eddie's incredulous: "But he divorced you. He made you so unhappy." Susan: "He did. But then this madman kidnapped MJ, and so I went after him and then Mike came after us and saved us both. And we fell back in love." (Oh, and she sort of told it wrong; she didn't go after MJ: She went with him on the fishing/kidnapping trip.) Eddie doesn't think that makes any sense, and I totally agree. But that was Season 5 for you. She really wants the chocolate ├ęclair Eddie brought her, but doesn't want to ruin her dress. She's having second thoughts, so Eddie tells her not to go through with it, and to marry him instead. She laughs, and he starts to get his don't-laugh-at-me rage face on, until she tells him how sweet he was to see her freaking out and know she needed a laugh. She doesn't know what she'd do without him, so she invites him to the church for the wedding. He looks at a picture he drew of her. Not that it's surprising, but he's really creeping it up here with Susan. Why her? Why does this show want us to think she's so amazing that everyone would love her most?

Wedding scene from the finale, and the premiere. Eddie's in the back. Then he's in a hooded sweatshirt in the dark, lurking outside her house. He watches a woman he thinks is her take out the recycling, but we know it's Julie. He chokes her from behind until she collapses. He gets worried, and says, "Julie!?" Then takes off. At the hospital, he's sitting by her bedside when Susan tells him it's so sweet of him to visit. She can't believe it happened and keeps asking herself how there's this kind of evil in the world. "What kind of monster would do this to her?" Eddie says it wasn't a monster, because they're big and strong, and "This was done by some weak insignificant piece of garbage who doesn't belong on this earth." He thinks that person should do the world a favor and kill himself, but Susan thinks he's too cowardly for that. Why would she know that the killer is too cowardly to kill himself? That makes no sense to me, though it leads to this completely pointless response from Eddie: "You're right."

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Desperate Housewives

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