Over at Casa Dead Meat, Sheriff No Name tells Felicia to let him know if she finds anything in Mrs. Kravitz's belongings that might help with the investigation. Like, say, a diary! She promises that she will, and shows them outside. All her neighbors -- including the 4H -- are milling around her yard. "Look at them all," she says. "Vultures. Pretending to care when all they really want are the sordid details." No Name thinks her neighbors are just being supportive. Felicia snorts: "Oh, please. Human beings feed on misery. Well, we might as well give the people what they want." She steps out on the porch: "Hello. I want to thank you all for coming out here and expressing your genuine sorrow and disbelief. My sister Martha would have been so touched." A tear-stained Edie wanders into the yard. Felicia goes on: "I know that many of you have questions. I've just spoken with the police, who are still putting together many of the details of what happened. What they do know is, Martha died a violent death." The neighbors exchange worried looks. "Yes, I know. It's hard to hear. Apparently, there was a struggle. They found scratching and bruising on her body, several broken bones, and traces of dirt in her lungs. Which leads us to believe that she was still alive at the time of her burial, and probably in great pain." She gives the assembled time to take this information in. Information that I -- for what it's worth -- think she just made up on the spot. She smiles sadly. "But the good news is, there are no signs that she had been molested." Heh. "Now, I think it's time that you return to your homes. To your loved ones." She turns to go back inside, then stops them all. "Oh! In lieu of a memorial service, I'll be holding an estate sale day after tomorrow. Please, no personal checks." With that, and a sunny smile, she sweeps off. I doodle "Jessica + Felicia 4EVA" on my laptop.
Episode Report CardJessica: B | 506 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT