I'm glad I got that off my chest. Susan goes over to the construction site that used to be Edie's house kiss Edie's ass. "I got to say, I envy you," she tells Edie. "In the name of God, why?" Edie asks, and Susan explains that Edie's so lucky to be able to build her dream house for free: "In a weird way, your house burning down was a good thing!" Edie tells her there's nothing good about it. She lost her photos. Her memories. Everything. "Is there something you want?" she asks. Susan stammers, and finally says she wanted to see how Edie was holding up with the whole Mrs. Kravitz being dead thing. "My best friend was murdered and stuffed into a garbage bag and nobody cares enough to go with me to spread her ashes," Edie tells her, like, how does Susan think she feels. So Susan guiltily offers to go.
Casa Convicted. Gabrielle comes in, wearing a kind of totally fabulous gold satin gown and carrying a bucket of chicken. God, that was totally me last night. Carlos tells her that he's starving, so she just hands him the bucket and tells him she's too tired to eat. Any food that comes in a bucket is automatically funny. Carlos rubs her shoulders and wonders if she got a chance to go see his mother, who is still wasting away in Comaville. Gabrielle didn't get a moment, but she's going to go tomorrow. Carlos says that he's sure Mama Solis will snap out of it at any moment: "And you know what would make her really happy?" Gabrielle snaps that if he says "a grandchild," she is going to lose it. He promised, no babies! Carlos tells her that "things change." Gabrielle snaps that she's well aware of that, as she's suddenly found herself married to a felon and working trade shows. "A baby is solid. A constant," Carlos tells her. Carlos, have you ever even MET a baby? They are NEITHER. They get bigger, for one thing, and louder. They love you one day, and can't stand you the next. They're demanding. They are changeable. I am all about the babies, but I would describe them as neither solid nor constant. Gabrielle retorts that she's the one who's going to have to take care of their little constant while he's in the big house. She likes her life, and doesn't want to "kill it." I believe "it" is "her life" and not "the baby." Carlos tells her that their old way of life is already dead: "You can't control that." She agrees, but tells him that there's one thing she can control, and that is having a baby. "You, I can control," she adds. Carlos, of course, gets all Man of the House on her, and so she just takes the bucket of chicken away from him and storms out, through the yard and across the street. Carlos follows her as far as he can with the electronic leash on, but eventually has to stand on the edge of his property and watch helplessly as she eats all his chicken. "You're the man of the house?" Gabrielle yells at him. "You can't even leave it!"