Desperate Housewives
Every Day A Little Death

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Jessica: B- | Grade It Now!
Every Day A Little Death

MAVO opens the show by explaining that Mrs. Kravitz had waited her entire life for "something exciting" to happen to her: "As a child, she hoped to be kidnapped by a band of pirates.” Well, who doesn't? Pirates rock. "As a teenager, she dreamt of being discovered by a Hollywood talent scout. As a young woman, she fantasized that a handsome millionaire would sweep her off her feet. But the years had gone by, and still nothing exciting had happened to Martha Huber. Until the night she was murdered." Yeah, I guess that was pretty exciting. If only briefly. We cut to Paul helping Mrs. Kravitz with her groceries and then strangling her on her kitchen floor. I don't remember the strangling, especially the part where she seems to be conscious. Didn't he at the very least knock her out when he conked her with the blender? So. That doesn't really work for me. But anyway, MAVO continues, saying that, as she got the shit choked out of her, it occurred to Mrs. Kravitz that "in addition to being boring, life could also being very cruel."

"But luckily, death was far more merciful," MAVO intones, as the cops finally find Mrs. Kravitz's dead body. The sheriff compares her face to the flyer, and looks up in time to see the media arrive. He tells his deputy to make sure that no one contaminates the crime scene and takes off. The deputy kneels down for a little chit chat with the dead broad. "Lot of people looking for you, you know that?" he says. "Your face is going to be on the front page of every paper in the state. How's that for excitement?" As the officer blanches, MAVO explains that it seemed, for a brief moment, that Mrs. Kravitz's corpse smiled up at him.

So, the police roll up to Casa Kravitz and tells Felicia -- who's out watering the lawn --that they've found her sister's body. She drops the hose.

Meanwhile, Susan heads over to Mike's house, and squeals at him that she's finished her book -- the one she's illustrating, I presume, not the one she's been reading -- and she thought he could take her to lunch to celebrate. Her voice trails off when she sees Edie in Mike's kitchen. Mike explains that he and Edie are going over the plans for her new house, and Edie exposits that she's finally getting her insurance check. And there's only one plumber she wants. "You shouldn't expect to see him for a few months," she sings to Susan. "I'm gonna be riding him hard." "Well, if anybody can go the distance, he can. I should know," Susan retorts. The combined age of the women in this room is about fifteen. Susan then sticks her tongue down Mike's throat. "Mike? Mike? We're on the clock," Edie says. I hate Susan sometimes. Act like a grown-up, babe. Edie's phone rings: it's Felicia. Her news is not good. Edie looks devastated. "They found Martha," she tells Susan and Mike.

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Desperate Housewives




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